If Only You Knew

Excerpt

“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight, my treat?” Andrew asked while we walked from his office to the corner market place.
“Nah, I plan to stay in tonight. My movie is coming on and I want to see it.”
“But I am treating, Marley, and you know I don’t do that often.”
I laughed at Andrew as I looked over the tomatoes, “This I know, but it’s going to rain because my knee has been acting up all day, so I’m going to make myself dinner, curl up in my pajamas, and watch a good movie.”
And that’s what I did when I finally got myself settled down that night, and like I predicted, the rain was pouring outside. I was eating a salad with the tomatoes I bought from the market place when the intercom buzzer rang through my apartment. Getting up, I pushed the button, “Yes, who it is?”
“It’s me, Richard, can I come up?”
Pushing the buzzer for a minute, I opened the door as I heard his footsteps coming up the hallway. He was soaking wet when he came to my door.
“I know you didn’t come out in this weather without an umbrella!”
“I got bored at home, so I came to surprise you. What are you doing?”
“First thing first, take your coat off and put it in the bathroom on the hanger to dry and go change clothes. You’re soaking wet, and I am not going to have you dripping all over my couch. You know the drill, mister, so move it!” I shouted as he went straight to my bathroom to change.
When he came out, he was wearing his usual baggy pants and a t-shirt he mixed up one time in my laundry and I just kept them at my place. He went into the kitchen and came back to the couch with a bag of chips and two sodas. Handing me one, I put mine on the coffee table and continued to watch my movie. That’s when he put his cold feet on mine and I shouted as he started laughing. I threw a pillow at him, starting a full-blown pillow fight. I don’t think I ever laughed so hard, it felt good to laugh like that again.
“You know, you’re a trip. What happened with your girl?” I asked point blank.
“She had some party she wanted me to go to, but I told her I was too tired, going to parties every single night and meeting all of those people, most of them are the same ones. So I just stayed home, then I got bored. I was going to call you but decided to surprise you, and well, here I am.” He smiled as he sat right next to me.
Even though he was wet from the rain, I could still smell his cologne. It was something that I gave him a long time ago, and he told me how much he loved it. The smell was not too faint but I could still smell it on his skin as I started snuggling with him. This was as far as I could go with him; we never ever seem to go any further than snuggling. Grabbing the blanket I had, I pulled it over the both of us and we snuggled deep within the warmth of the blanket and his body.
God, why can’t it be like this all the time?
I didn’t realize that I had fallen asleep until I found us still lying together on the couch. Looking up at his sleeping face, I had to smile at how peaceful he looked. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t take my eyes off of him at that moment. I wanted to kiss those lips just to feel them. He had kissed me dozens of times on the cheek, but I hadn’t had a real kiss since that night when we were in college.
“Alright Richard it’s your turn now, truth or dare?” Max Simmons asked as everyone else started passing around Jell-O shots.
“Dare!”
It was our junior year in college and we were having fun at an after mid-terms party at Richard’s fraternity. Everyone started laughing and giggling as some of the guys huddled around Max to plan this dare.
“Alright, alright, you have two choices. You can either kiss Marley or drink this cup of cigarette butts, Coca Cola, and ashes,” he said, handing him the McDonalds cup filled with the concoction. I swear I never saw anyone turn so many shades of green in my life. He probably could have barfed something the cat drug up, but I never thought that he would do what he was about to do.
“But here is the catch…if you kiss Marley; you have to go into the closet over there to do it.”
He pointed towards a black door and believe me, there was no telling what lurked in the deep depths of that closet. I was afraid even to think of how much it probably smelled. That’s when he grabbed my hand and pulled me up, walking me to that closet door.
“How long do we have to be in there?” I asked Max as he opened the closet door for us.
“If it is a good kiss then it should last around 5 minutes, maybe longer if it’s really good, have fun kiddies!” he laughed and closed the door. Darkness engulfed us.
“Where is the light?” Richard asked, trying to find a switch or something.
“Just feel around, you’ll find it.”
Soon, the little light that did come into the closet was enough for us to see each other. It was an uncomfortable moment, I had to admit, and all we could do was to sit and wait. He looked at me and I saw a nervous smile.
“What do we do now?” I asked. “You know they’re going to wonder if we did it or not. You don’t have any of my lipstick smeared all over your face. If we’re going to kiss then why not just get it over with.”
He nodded and moved toward me, even though all I could see was the outline of his head in what seemed a florescent halo. Finally, I could see his eyes; God, those eyes, how they sparkled in the darkness. I kept staring as he bent over me while I sat on a trunk. I don’t know what he was thinking at that time, but I was thinking, “God I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long!”
His fingers ran lightly across my face, it felt so nice, and I wanted to let this moment linger as he moved some of my black hair from my face.
If you don’t show that you‘re enjoying this, then he won‘t know that you care so much, I kept telling myself while he cupped my chin, motioning it upwards toward his face and that sweet smile of his. It made me smile when he did. I don’t know what it was about him that always made me smile.
Maybe it’s because you’re in love with him you idiot!