Darlene and Roy are desperate. They hired a driver, paying in advance. He got busted and left them, only two drivers, stranded with two trucks and one SUV full of all their worldly goods. California to Florida, thirty two hundred miles. All the other church volunteers left hours ago. Charles offers to drive the second truck. Brother in need. Church work. They make a vacation of it, splitting the drive up over three weeks. It’s awkward sharing a hotel room of two queen size beds with a married couple. Problem solved. Roy will be thinking with his head. His little head will be caged for the trip. The key hangs around Darlene’s neck. She’ll let him out when they get there. For three weeks, Roy will have one queen size bed all for himself. Darlene and Charles will have to share. Roy won’t be getting any, but Darlene will. Every night she’ll expect a lot of ‘church work’ from Charles. She gives Charles a sweet smile. “We talked it over. We grew up with you. Every time we got in trouble as kids, you got in trouble with us. We’re going to miss you horribly. We want a souvenir of our trip together. Not some stupid trinket or figurine. We want something practical we can enjoy for years, that will always remind us of you.” Charles looks confused. “What kind of souvenir do you crazy love birds have in mind?” Darlene clears her throat. “Pay attention. You’ll only get one clue.” She pulls out a round pill dispenser, cracks it open and spills all the pills into the toilet, flushing them down with finality. Roy claps him on the back. “We’ll adopt her baby from you. You’ll owe no child support. We love you. You’re family. We want our first to be yours.”
Charles gives Roy a curious look. “We’ve got it broken up into three weeks, yet we’ve made crazy distance for our first day. It’s been a long drive, and I know you’re tired. Are you thinking clearly? Two queen-sized beds? Not two rooms?”
Roy answers matter of factly. “I’m thinking very clearly. I need one queen sized bed all to myself so I can lay comfortably on my side watching you two on the other.”
Charles’ chin drops.
Darlene lifts his chin with a finger, giving Charles her innocent-little-girl big eyes. “I told Roy he’s not getting any, during this entire trip. He said that’s right. Charles is. Every night. I’m on loan to you for this whole trip. Roy gets to watch. We’re both counting on you. You’ve got a lot of church work to do, my friend.”
Charles begins to argue. “Look, I’ve written cuckolding stories, and it doesn’t end well for the husband. The bull gets the girl. The cuck gets a cage.”
Darlene flashes him a sweet smile. “There’s an end-game to this, Charles. When we get to Florida, you get to help us set up our bedroom suite. Then you get to have me once more, on my own marriage bed, with my loving husband playing cameraman to record it as our precious family heirloom. The next morning you fly back to California, full of memories and our eternal gratitude for all your hard, very hard, church work.”
Charles rubs his chin, thinking it over. “OK, that can work. Just so it’s clear Roy gets his wife back at the end of this trip.”
Roy and Darlene look at each other and nod. Roy voices it. “Guaranteed.”
Charles looks at them funny. “And no cock cages.”
Darlene raises one eyebrow, pulling on the chain to bring it out from her awesome cleavage. At the end of the chain is a key. “Sorry, Charles. I’ve already locked him up for the trip. I’ve got the only key. That’s why I went to that bookstore. I already knew your stuff was only available on line.”
Charles looks at Roy, shocked. “You OK with this, dude?”
Roy giggles. “It was my idea, man. I wanted the full experience. It’s not just any cage. It’s a full tuck cage. I look like a girl from the front. I have to sit to pee. It’s awesome.”
Charles sighs, squaring his shoulders in resolve. “Fine. It ends one day after we get there. Then you promise me Roy keeps the key, for the rest of his life. I’m not seeing my best friend get castrated. You know hot wife stories are the smut version of monster movies.”
Darlene nods, wide eyed. “I promise. Roy only gets caged on this trip. Then he can say he’s been there done that.”
Charles offers his hand to Darlene. “Deal.”
They shake. Roy adjusts his pants, to no avail.
Darlene grabs both men, one by each hand, and walks them into the bathroom. She gives Charles the sweetest, most serene smile. “We talked it over. We grew up with you. Every time we ever got in trouble as kids, you got in trouble right with us. We’re going to miss you horribly. We at least want a souvenir of our trip together. Not some stupid trinket or figurine. We want something practical we can enjoy for years, that will always remind us of you.”
Charles looks confused. “What kind of souvenir do you crazy love birds have in mind?”
Darlene clears her throat. “Pay attention. You’ll only get one clue.”
Charles is alert now. “Okkkaaaayyyy.”
Darlene pulls out a round pill dispenser, cracks it open and spills all the pills into the toilet, flushing them down with finality.
Charles’ face goes white.
Roy claps him on the back. “Don’t worry. We’ll adopt our little bundle of joy, so there’s no child support. This is how much we love you. We want our first to be yours. One way or another, you’ll always be a part of our family.”
Charles stares, finally nods, slowly. “You guys are crazy.”
Darlene kisses his ear. “About you.”