I was bored. I sucked her tit, the flavor bitter from her sweat, and she squealed, wiggling in my grasp. At least one of us was enjoying it. Her nipple was hard and pink, and I moved to the next one and did the same. Her name was Autumn or Brandy or one of those names that sounds made up. “Oh, Hart. I need, I need—” she gasped.

I knew what she needed. It was the same thing all of them needed. I ripped her red satin lace panties off, and rolled the condom down my half-hard cock. I nudged her thighs apart and held my dick up to her fleshy opening. She was wet, dripping onto my comforter with her juices. Her little pink nub was shiny, and poking out from the wig of black pubic hairs. I held my cock’s mushroom head up to her wet folds, and shoved in. I pretended things when I did this. It was the only way to get off.

“Yes, oh fuck, yes,” she whimpered, playing with her tits and pinching hard. Her big boobs bounced roughly as I started fucking her in earnest now. Okay, this might work. She was pretty tight for someone who looked like she’d fucked every guy in the city. She was good though, she squeezed her muscles down there and I got close. Really close. Closer than I had in a while. That little tingling started at the base of my cock.

Her soft skin seemed to be all around me, suffocating me with her heavy, sweet perfume. But I kept thrusting, long, deep, hard plunges. Rocking into her wet cunt, as she wrapped her legs around me, and I shoved in like a good solider.

“Oh, baby. Oh baby. You’re so big, it hurts so good.” Her mouth was open wide as she talked dirty, with her full red lips flapping helplessly as I roughly rammed into her.

I grunted loudly. Oh, yeah. It was happening. I squeezed my glutes praying I could come, and my thigh muscles burned as I pumped and flexed. Come on, just one orgasm, I’m begging you. The image of the pizza delivery guy popped into my head. He wasn’t the regular guy. That guy was fat and older, and smelled weird. No, this guy had been younger and he’d been good looking, blond, and built with hard muscled biceps, nice chest. He’d been thrilled with his five-dollar tip too. Would he be thrilled if I fucked my cock into his smiling mouth, and shot my white sperm down his throat? That dirty thought did it. I exploded, crying out as I fucked the guy’s mouth in my fantasy over and over. I whimpered as my dick finished shooting, and limp and wet I slid it out of her hole, still twitching, but wanting out of her as soon as possible.

She was still moaning and writhing on the bed as I pulled the condom off. Oh thank God, I’d come. I didn’t need her telling all her fucking friends I couldn’t get it up with a chick anymore. I wiped the sweat from my face and sat up, panting. This was getting more difficult as time went on. How much longer was I going to be able to get away with this? Eventually someone was going to figure it out.

She ran her hand down my back and I did a good job of not seeming disgusted. But I just wanted her out of here now. I’d needed to fuck something and she’d been willing. I hadn’t had a good orgasm in six months. I used to be able to fuck these girls and it was fine, I’d get off okay. But lately, I was struggling big time with boredom in the bedroom. I guess you can only run from yourself for so long.

I felt kind of guilty about the girls I’d fucked in the old days. But when I was younger, I hadn’t known any more than they had that I wasn’t really into girls. Then it had started to sink in. I began having issues getting aroused with the women I was with, no matter how hot they were. But if I pictured fucking a dude, I’d spurt across the room. I’d finally wised up, and at least now I avoided nice girls. I wasn’t a mean person, no matter how callous I sounded right now about the chick I’d just banged. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

I guess what I’m saying is it had taken me a while to accept who and what I am. Twenty-five years to be exact. I’d been living the last three afraid of being discovered.

The girl cooing in my bed at the moment, she wasn’t any better than me. She was only sleeping with me because I was rich and had a nice car. No strings, no lies. Well actually, wait—one really huge lie, but so what? This wasn’t love.

The thing is, I’d gone to the gay bars a couple of times when I was traveling. That scene just wasn’t for me. Number one, the guys I’d met were just looking for a quick fuck, and I was really inexperienced with men. It was embarrassing, but I’d never even had actual anal sex with a dude. I was too afraid to try it with some random stranger. The most I’d indulged in were a couple of blowjobs and dry humps with guys I didn’t know. But I’d hated it. Not during it, mind you. In fact I’d loved the warm slide of their mouth on my cock, the pulsing warmth as I came with their lips wrapped tight on my dick. But afterward I felt horrible and empty because there had been no real connection. Maybe there were better hook up spots for guys who liked guys in other parts of the country. But in our little town we had two choices, and I couldn’t afford to be seen at either one of them. So I screwed women who didn’t care about me anymore than I did them.

But the sad thing is, I yearned for more than just a guy to sink my dick into. I wanted more. I wanted a relationship, some companionship and maybe even my soul mate. But the odds of me finding that in Springton, MT, were pretty damn slim. In fact I was more likely to be tarred and feathered in this little redneck town if anyone found out about me.

I got up and pulled on my robe. The girl slipped on her stockings and zipped up her skirt. She then planted a wet one on my mouth before making her way to the door. “You’re an animal, Hart. Jesus. I may not be able to walk for a week.” She opened the door and my personal security guard, Frank, gave me a wink. Yes, I’d upheld the macho, fuck a girl club membership for one more day.

She disappeared into the elevator and Frank slipped back into my apartment. “She was hot, boss. Shit.” He wrung his hand like it was on fire.

I nodded. “Yep.” I just wanted to go to sleep. I was tired and depressed.