Kaboom! A gas leak destroys Dana Fremder’s apartment and business in Brooklyn. With nowhere to go, Dana runs straight to best friend Hayley in Liberty Heights where a gunman is running loose. Or so Dana thinks. Voice over actor Hank Axelrod is loaded with sound effects that pop, whine, and screech, irritating Dana’s overstretched nerves. Too bad for Hank and Dana, that Hank’s Grandma Baumgart takes a joyride on a skateboard. Grandma has a concussion and an unshakable conviction that Hank and Dana are married. Nobody wants to upset Grandma. What can Hank and Dana do?
Dana shuffled into the room, trying to hide behind Hayley and Ellie. “Maybe I should wait outside with the kids,” she said.
“Nope. They’ll cry and get irritable. You can’t manage all three of them, trust me,” Hayley said. “We won’t be long.”
“Hi, Grandma,” Hank said, stooping over the side rails, to kiss the woman’s cheek.
“Hank! About time! Get me out of here. I’m sick of red, yellow, and green Jello.”
“Nice to see you feel better, Grandma,” Hank said, ignoring the rant.
Hayley and Ellie greeted the woman with hugs and kisses.
“You remember Dana?”
Hayley shoved Dana forward who kissed her cheek, too, although she felt silly. She barely knew the woman and had only met her once at Hayley's wedding. Still, she was an old lady, and she might as well be nice to her.
Grandma Baumgart narrowed her eyes. “Of course, I remember Dana. Do you think I’m senile?”
Wow! No mincing words with this lady. She was feisty and said exactly what she pleased. Diplomacy clearly wasn’t a Baumgart trait.
A white-coated doctor strolled into the room with a clipboard and looked up at all of them. “Morning, Frieda. How’s the Roller Derby Queen?”
“She’s fine and ready to get out of this old age joint,” Grandma shouted.
Dana had to duck her head to hide a smile. Clearly, Mrs. Baumgart had been agitating everyone to get out of the hospital. Not that she blamed her.
“You’re the grandson, right?”
Hank nodded and offered his hand. “Hank Axelrod.”
“Dr. Sumner. I missed you yesterday afternoon, sorry about that. I’m a gerontologist. Your grandmother is in very good health, only the after effects of a concussion.”
Hank sucked in a breath. “So, that means she can come home?”
Doctor Sumner paused. “She needs someone to keep an eye on her for a few days. That was quite a blow on the head. No more skateboards, Frieda.”
“My grandson’s wife can take care of me, so I’m checking out,” Grandma shouted.
Hank’s eyes widened. “But Grandma, I’m not married.”
Grandma Baumgart snorted. “Don’t play dumb with me. She’s right there. Dana. Beautiful wedding. A lot better than your cousin Mookie’s, although the speeches were too long, and the filet mignon was overcooked.”
“I think you’re mistaken,” Dana stammered.
Grandma Baumgart shot her a look that would have cut through steel. “Don’t tell me! That was a humdinger of a wedding dress with all those crystals sewn in. Must have cost a packet. And while I’m at it, what’s the hold up with a baby? I’m eighty-four. Hayley and Ellie are way ahead of you. I can’t wait forever. Doesn’t Hank give you enough hanky-panky?”
Dana swayed on her feet, and Hank caught her around the waist.
“Sure thing, Grandma. I’ll give her all the hanky-panky she wants. I’m terrific at hanky-panky. Isn’t that right, Sugarplum?”