Falling
Soul Reaper Series IV

Excerpt

The glare that surrounded me was golden, brighter than anything I’d ever seen. I snuck a quick look at the scenery and saw that we were in an untouched wheat field. The brilliance of the sun on the field created a halo. The sun was warm. There was something familiar about the earth beneath my feet. It was almost like my body had once been part of it. I had buried myself somewhere within this very field. Somehow, Azrael must have latched onto that and followed it here. Right now, I hardly cared. I was with Azrael. But I got the sense he would only leave again. If that happened, I didn’t know how I’d handle it.

Staring at him, echoes of remorse and sadness filled his thoughts. There was also love on the surface, unending, stretching the expanse of the universe. And it wasn’t love for the Source—it was for me. It was true love. Could I accept that? Behind it, there was something else, a fear and anger that I’d never seen in the angel before. All revolving around me.

Azrael sensed that I knew something was wrong. He had done something. He’d broken some code he’d sworn never to violate.

“Tell me,” I whispered.

He sighed and took his time. The tension surrounding us was hard enough to shatter a meteor if he’d wanted to. “Michael has gathered a faction to throw me out of heaven because of my demonic origin. He never wanted me to be an angel. He accepted me because She raised me above all others. Michael hates you for the same reason. He told me if I were to revert, to show any sign of my past, he’d destroy me and then you. That’s why I stayed away. I lose all control around you. Brenna, you cloud my judgment and raise buried emotions along with my hunger. I didn’t want to send his wrath on you. Not again.” He smiled sadly and touched my face.

I nuzzled his hand, understanding the feelings. I’d sensed Azrael’s mind. He’d stayed away out of love, but knowing that didn’t take away the hurt. It only dulled the pain a little. By saving me and giving into his nature, he’d instigated a war in heaven. From the looks of his scar, I surmised that Michael had inflicted it. The squabbling of angels. Maybe my needs were selfish in light of the situation, but I deserved the man I loved, especially when I would one day take my place by his side.

I couldn’t imagine what Michael would do to Azrael if they fought. Azrael was going to leave me. My heart sank. Everything I’d hoped for was in my grasp, only to be taken away again.

Azrael sensed the change in me. “Michael can kill you with a thought. Right now, he won’t. I don’t want you to die.”

“Stop,” I whispered. “Just stop. I get it. You’re going away again. Leaving me alone. I need you. I know it’s selfish, but hell, it’s time I think about me. I help everyone else. Why can’t I have you?

“I know the answer, but damn it, it’s not fair. Each day, the universe expands a little more in my soul, hardening me. And it’s cold. There are times I don’t know where I’m going. I need to understand what’s happening to me. I assumed you didn’t want me, so I buried myself in the earth to escape the pain. Sleep was better than consciousness, better than staring up at the sky, knowing you were there and not being able to have you. Do you know how that feels?”

I collapsed and sobbed. Seeing him now, when he would just leave again to stop the war, only made things worse. Azrael’s reasons were commendable, but I wanted him.

His arms pulled me close. His chin rested on my head, and his arms settled in the small of my back. I couldn’t keep him like this forever.

“Oh, Brenna, I forgot how mortal you are. It’s been so long since I was even remotely human. Until you came along, I’d forgotten how to love. I never meant to harm you. Can you forgive me everything I’ve done?”

He raised my chin, wiping my tears and kissing me on the lips, like a flower’s soft caress. But it wasn’t enough. If he was deserting me, I wanted more. I demanded the promise that had been denied me. I pressed against him, winding my fingers in his hair. Then I pulled him away so I could kiss his neck. My tongue circled over the place I’d fed from, now magically healed. The warm blood underneath called to me. I nibbled there a moment and then met his gaze once again.

His eyes were expressionless fathoms, waiting to see what I would do. I gave him a small smile and kissed a spot over his heart, lightly brushing his nipples with my hands. My mouth enclosed on one, and he moaned. The unexplored passion washed over me as it consumed him. It caught the angel off guard. He stumbled backwards into the wheat. I took advantage and straddled him. He fell on his back, but his invisible wings cushioned his fall. I kissed his chest, working downward, stopping when I reached his jeans. Hunger and ardor were in his eyes, but there was also fear in his mind. Beyond that, I knew he didn’t want me to stop.

He wanted to give me everything he’d denied for so long. I expected the beast, the vampire in him, to emerge, but it wasn’t the vampire or the angel that waited for me. It was the man. Someone I’d never seen before now bared his soul. In that moment, I knew that he truly loved me.