Derrick has known his best friends Tim and Cat most of his life, and their relationship stems from their love of cinema. Every Saturday, like an unspoken ritual, they all go to see a new movie. It doesn’t matter if someone can’t pay, they cover each other no matter what.
After a normal Saturday movie date is over, Cat starts to let on about something very important about their identity, making Derrick question his own feelings for his friend. Will this affect the dynamics of their group? Does Derrick harbor secret affection for his tomboyish friend?
“Is that a show or a movie?” I ask.
“Oh, Elfen Lied?” she begins to explain, “It’s an anime. It’s about unexplored trauma and deep sadness. It made me sob all day when I watched it!”
“Anything about that kind of heavy stuff is hard for me to watch. Like ... because of my dad and his heavy drinking days ...” I say and she nods in understanding. I had told both Tim and Cat about the worst of my memories before my dad abandoned my mom and I. They were the only ones I trusted.
“I understand; that shit is heavy. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of it unless I had to be.” She smiles at me with this sweet, empathetic warmth and my heart melts.
Tim comes back with the tickets and sees the painting, admiring it. “I like that. It looks like a melting pot of golden pussy I can dip into. Just take the dude out of the painting and I’ll be good.”
Cat sighs, putting her phone away.
“I wouldn’t mind either way. The way they are embracing feels so safe. It’s a very beautiful picture, well, painting ...” I say and she smiles as we go into the theater.
“Really? You wouldn’t mind ...” Cat starts to say and Tim shushes us as we find our seats.
The movie goes over my head. I can’t stop thinking of the painting and what Cat was about to say. I feel like something is crawling into my chest and melting into my pores, my veins, my bones. I keep picturing Cat and her eyes, lips, hair. The electric waves I feel sometimes when I get too close to her. The way she methodically fixes her blonde eyebrows in the mirror and how her hair is always a mess.
Cat never had friends that were girls. Only us. Maybe the one-off female acquaintance now and then. Never a true friend, however.
She wrestled with us, cursed, joked like a sailor. She even dressed like a tomboy.
She had relatively feminine features ... but ... Something about her was different.
And I am ... what did I mean?
Shit.
Did I mean that I didn’t care if I was with a guy or girl?
No. No.
That’s gay. Gay? Am I gay? Is that why I can never keep a girl? Is that why all my girlfriends never stick? How we never got past second base?
Then why is Tim single all the time? And Cat?
Suddenly I feel someone push me. It’s Tim.
“No mames, despertar, wey! You fell asleep during the film, you zombie!” Tim whispers harshly and I realize the film is over and he tells me Cat is near the concessions and wants to play some games in the arcade before we go.
Tim and I walk over, and I feel dazed as I see Cat waving at us.
It’s when I hear Tim and Cat talking animatedly about the movie that I feel like I’m dying inside.
“Guys, I gotta tell you something ...” Cat starts to say.
