My lungs gasp for air as exhaustion takes over my body and I fall to the ground. I let all the tears I’ve been holding for months finally flow down my face as my chest starts to ache along with my heart. The wind howls at me as if the universe is ashamed of my actions. All along I was so blinded by my past love for Rose and now I’ve lost the one person that actually loved me. This is by far the stupidest thing I have ever done. Congratulations Skylar, you are a complete and utter idiot.

I somehow manage to run all the way home in the middle of the night, slam my door shut, rush upstairs towards my room, and search my closet for a box I kept hidden away with all the memories of me and Rose. I open the box to reveal photos, poems, songs that I wrote that were of me and her. I scrunch everything up in my hands and hurry back downstairs to the living room where I toss it all in the fireplace before I can give it another thought. I place the now ripped pieces of paper on top of the wood logs inside and get a match to set alight. I settle back, watching the paper crumble into burnt black ash as the fire roars red and yellow flames in harmonious fury. I gaze into the fire, letting all the anger and all the pain be forever lost in the flames.

My phone starts to ring from the doorway where I left my handbag. I leap up to answer it, hoping it’s Emma. But it’s a missed call from Rose and multiple messages from Maddie asking me what happened at the party. I click on Rosaline’s number in my contacts and block her and then search for Emma in my contacts. I call her over and over but, of course, she doesn’t answer me. I message and call her a dozen times but still no reply. I send a voice message hoping she won’t just delete it.

“Please hear me out! I can explain everything, I’m so sorry for what you saw and the way I have been, you deserve so much more than this, and I wish tonight never happened because it’s cost me the most important person in my life and the love of my life, which is you. You probably hate me and have every right to but if you meet me tomorrow at the Angel Cafe one last time just so can explain to you what happened. Just one day, one chance to talk to you then you never have to see me again if that is what you want. Just please let me explain, you deserve a reason, one minute to see you again is all I ask. I will be there tomorrow at ten, I will wait for you. As long as it takes.”

I slump upstairs to my room with my hand in my pocket in case by some miracle Emma calls me back. Trickles of rain drizzle down my window, making the night even more gloomy than when it began. I let my back sink into the comforting quilt on my bed, staring up at the ceiling to look up at the glow of the stars stuck there. But they do not shine, my galaxy is destroyed and the life I was living in my head never even existed in the first place. My reality sucks and so does my imaginary universe.