Jennifer Needle in Her Arm explores the emotional turmoil that parents go through when they have either lost a child to drugs or have to deal with a child currently addicted to drugs. Bonnie Kaye, who lost her daughter Jennifer in 2002 at the age of 22, suffered the guilt and shame almost all good parents go through in the aftermath of losing a child to drugs.
In this book, Kaye talks about the journey she and her daughter went through together, and how in the end, nothing she did changed the outcome. She shares some articles she wrote in the years following her loss to help people understand what parents go through with a drug-addicted child.
Kaye has also included a number of heart-wrenching writings that Jennifer gave to her to share with others in hopes that they would read about her pain and not have her daily struggles of survival. One passage includes these words of despair and hope:
What have I ever done to you to deserve all this pain and agony? You have taken everything from me. My family's trust, my family's sleep, my sleep, my apartment, car, jewelry, etc. But worst of all you've taken my sanity, my life, and me. I think of you every day. I even dream about you at night. I'm sure your only thoughts about me are to totally destroy me. I love you yet hate you so much. No matter how hard I fight, you are stronger. I'm 19 but feel 69 because of you. You have robbed me of my childhood. Because of you I have killed, robbed, sold drugs, sold myself, and hurt everyone close to me. You're a liar!!!! You swore you would make things easier for me. You swore I wouldn't have to worry about anything. You promised fun and heaven. But all you have given me is hurt and agony and a living hell. This is my life and I'm taking it back. I'm going to win this battle. I PROMISE.
The book is comforting to parents who continue to suffer from shame, guilt, and feelings of helplessness. They will realize they are not alone--and they are not responsible.
About the Author:
Bonnie Kaye is an internationally recognized relationship counselor/author. She is also an educator working with adult high school dropouts to obtain their high school equivalency diploma. She is the director of the Northeast GED Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Kaye also has a book co-op for independent authors at www.BooksofExcellence.com and an Internet radio show on Sunday evenings for those authors.
In 2002, Kaye lost her daughter, Jennifer, at the age of 22 to a three-and-a-half-year heroin addiction. Afterwards, she started a local weekly support group for other parents who were suffering with this catastrophe to help them in the healing process. She stopped the group after nearly a year, unable to do her own healing. Instead, she has done personal one-on-one counseling with parents who requested her help over the past decade.
Kaye's other books include: The Gay Husband Checklist for Women Who Wonder; Straight Wives: Shattered Lives (Volumes 1 and 2); ManReaders: A Woman's Guide to Dysfunctional Men; Bonnie Kaye's Straight Talk; How I Made My Husband Gay: Myths About Straight Wives; Doomed Grooms: Gay and Bisexual Husbands in Straight Marriages; Gay Husbands Say the Darndest Things and Over the Cliff: Gay Husbands in Straight Marriages.