Steve had looked everywhere else, so he guessed Milton had to be in the library. God, what a fuckin’ coward you are, Morrison! he thought, mentally reliving yet again the incident in the hallway.

Why the hell didn’t I say something? I might have been able to talk those meatheads down without making it look as though I knew Milton. God, the look on his face. Steve shook his head.

“Milton?” he said, coming through the main library door and taking a look around. That’s when he saw the disapproving stare from the librarian. “Sorry, Ms. Philips,” Steve said more softly.

Milton wasn’t in the library, so Steve turned around and went back through the door, where he bumped into JJ.

“Have you seen Milton?” Steve asked, although from the thunderous look on his best friend’s face, Steve knew JJ had.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t punch you in the mouth,” JJ said, flexing his impressive guns.

Reaching for humor, always his first line of defense, Steve said, “Because you think I’ve got a cute mouth?”

JJ’s expression didn’t change.

“Shit, man, I wish I could have a do-over of this morning,” Steve sighed, visualizing yet again the disappointed expression on Milton’s face. “It isn’t easy.”

“It isn’t easy for Milton, either.” At least JJ was sounding less pissed.

“Look, man, I’m sorry, okay?” Steve threw up his hands, knowing he was in the wrong and JJ was just so goddamned lucky, and smart, and hot, and ...

“It isn’t me you need to be apologizing to, it’s --”

“Milton, I know. Jeez, this is a lot harder than I thought it’d be.” And here he was, failing on the second day of being true to himself.

They walked side by side down the hallway, although Steve could tell there was a distance between them, emotional more than physical, and he hated it. Part of him wanted to blame Milton, but the more rational side of his brain knew it was all his own fault.

Standing at the door to his homeroom, JJ’s being two doors down, Steve turned to his friend. “Will you help me?”

Other students were close by, so Steve had to talk in code. Yes, he hated himself for that. There was a lot he hated about himself recently.

“You know I will; you’re my best friend.”

Letting out a sigh, Steve asked, “Will you go out for lunch with me?” He couldn’t talk in this place, too many ears. “We could go to that Thai place you like. My treat.”

“I should eat with Milton today. You should join us.”

“What?” Steve looked around, but no one was paying him any attention. “I --”

“Bye, Steve.” JJ walked away.

Steve’s shoulders slumped; he trudged into his homeroom and took his usual seat. He rested his head on his folded arms and closed his eyes. God, what a morning.