Graham watched Cole sleep until the dawning sun filled the room, casting everything in its early orange glow. He was exhausted, unable to fall back to sleep after their late-night visitors. His eyes were raw, each blink dry and scratchy. He focused on the gentle curve of Cole’s golden tipped lashes as they fluttered every now and again. Graham listened to his deep, peaceful breaths, his not-quite snores, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

Rubbing the dryness from his eyes, Graham counted each crease of Cole’s lips. They parted a little, as if waiting for a morning kiss. Gently, so as not to wake him, Graham traced the faint veins patterning Cole’s biceps, savoring the calm beat of blood pulsing through them, a testament to the hours of hard labor Cole had poured into building this home. Every timber had been selected and laid with Graham in mind. It warmed Graham as much as it tore him apart, spending so little time of that journey with Cole.

With an aching heart, he watched the sun climb higher, making the shadows around the room move, still wondrous and beautiful despite it signaling the end of their day together.

Cole blinked and squinted into the light illuminating his face. His eyes found Graham and a devastating smile shaped his mouth. “Morning.”

Graham answered him with a kiss, soft at first, but he soon took possession of Cole’s mouth. Cole allowed it, letting Graham take what he needed, offering his own desire, meeting Graham’s passion, thoroughly devouring one another until they were both out of breath. Cole cupped his cheek. Graham pressed into his caress, suddenly finding it too hard to breathe. He closed his eyes. “I have to go.”

Cole sighed. “Stay for breakfast. We didn’t get chance to eat much yesterday.”

Graham’s chest tightened. “I can’t.” He pressed his forehead to Cole’s, breathing him in, the sweetness of late apples, perspiration and semen.

“Stay,” Cole whispered, the single word a broken plea.

Graham clenched his teeth to stop the aching sob in his throat from coming out.

* * * *

“Want me to walk back with you?” Cole always asked for permission, gauging Toya’s mood from Graham’s answer.

Graham wanted to say yes, to prolong what little time they had left, but shook his head. “No. I’ll be fine.” He didn’t want to make this anymore difficult. “I need to get the biofuel system up and running.” Toya didn’t like going near it. The smell of decay made her wretch.

Cole opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. Graham took Cole’s hands in his and pulled him close, drawing him into a soft kiss, a simple press of lips, the smallest connection holding them together. Graham pressed his forehead to Cole’s and whispered, “I love you so much.”

Again, Cole tried to speak. Nothing but a broken croak came out. He scrunched his eyes shut and clutched Graham’s hands tight. He’d been so strong all these years, struggling to keep his pain from Graham, bearing it on his own. Sometimes Graham wished he would shout and rage against the unfairness of it all, but he never did. Instead, he breathed in deep, cleared his throat and said, “I know. I love you, too.”

Graham swallowed the stream of apologies stuck in his throat. It would only serve to hurt Cole further, something he did far too frequently as it was. Graham didn’t have to live alone, surviving every day, knowing his lover was allowing someone else to lay their hands on him. Duty, aiding the future of the human race, didn’t seem worth the pain he saw in Cole’s eyes each time they were forced to part. It was worse than when they’d first been informed of Graham’s fertility and they knew what it would mean. Time didn’t lessen the hurt, or make it any more bearable. He wanted to stay, to take away Cole’s suffering, but he could do nothing. If he didn’t return before midday, Toya would send word to the Sanctuaries and Enforcers would be sent out to hunt them down. He’d never see Cole again. Toya had grown spiteful enough to do it.

With crushing reluctance, Graham gently pulled free from Cole’s grip, unwilling to sully his beloved any more with his traitorous touch. Without another word he turned and set off for home. Chest constricting with every step, he left Cole and a part of his heart behind. He made it to the edge of Cole’s land before unclenching his jaw and wiping the tears staining his cheeks.