Richard, Kyle, and Devon are roommates through circumstance, not necessarily by choice, but Richard figures he's lucked out, especially with Kyle. They're good friends, like the same books, and don't mind sharing a movie and a joint every now and then.
Everything changes one New Year’s party when Richard and Kyle go beyond the bounds of friendship. Richard isn’t gay, though Kyle is, and the two move past the incident rather quickly, and move on with the rest of their lives.
When their random one-off nights are no longer random, and definitely not one-off any longer, Richard is forced to wonder if he and Kyle should do something more about their developing relationship. When Devon moves out, a chance presents itself to move into something more -- together.
Will Richard and Kyle take it? Or hide behind movies, books, and other people for the rest of their lives?
I wanted to argue -- that no, this day had truly been life changing, it had been amazing almost as much as that night we'd had sex except this I got to talk about out loud -- yet I knew that Kyle was right. I could go my entire life without reading Hannah Arendt and I'd probably be just fine. Same with understanding linguistics. But I wanted to know, and I became scared for a moment that my life could have gone like Devon's in a heartbeat. That that girl I had been thinking of calling, asking for a job, I could date her and fuck her and maybe even marry her. I could see myself walking down the aisle with her on my arm, not because I was in love with her but because she was nice and pretty and fun, and I could do it.
But then I wouldn't have had this day. Even if my application was rejected, and I would have to slink home with my tail between my legs and work at a bank, I still got to have this day. I could read those people at night. I could keep learning, especially as I'd felt like I'd already learned so much.
"Hey," Kyle said, nudging me slightly. "I was going to suggest that we could start apartment hunting, but maybe it's time for a break. Want to watch a movie?"
I selectedBlack Sheep, a Chris Farley movie, anyway. And because we could, because Devon was with Alyson that night and our house was empty, and probably would be for some time, I suggested we smoke.
I knew exactly what I was doing.
And I wanted to believe, so did Kyle. He said yes right away, nodding happily, and said, "I never thought you'd ask."
We smoked in my bedroom, since the smoke from weed never cloyed, and this time, I didn't even wait for a moment to pass before I kissed him. We had been passing the joint back and forth, back and forth, and when it was out I just put my mouth on his. He exhaled some of the smoke into me, and I took it inside of me without coughing.
"Hey." Kyle put his hands on my waist. I had crawled between his legs, kissing him hard and sloppily, as if I'd never done it before. "You okay? You sure?"
I nodded and kissed him. He pushed me away once, rolling me onto my side of the mattress, and I let out a groan. "You have to be sure," Kyle said. "I still want to live with you. We can't do this if you're not sure."
I nodded. I groped for his dick in his jeans. He was hard. I smiled and told him something about knowing he wanted this, too.
"Of course," he said, and then laughed. "That's obvious. But you're ... something else. I don't know."
I nodded. I didn't know, either.
"It's just sex," I told him. And though I didn't believe it then, and neither did he based on the look he gave me in the low lights from the movie screen, we both nodded. We kissed again.