Mike: Where is this coming from, this desire to experience a BDSM club? I’ve left my grief behind as much as I can, and I’m ready to move forward and explore the gay side of me I’ve ignored. But have I really got a pain kink as well as a need to submit? Meeting Ian has allowed me to explore a side of my nature I’d never admitted to before, but can this work out between us?
Ian: I’m a Dom, and a regular at Collared and Tied, the best gay kink club in Toronto. I’ve accepted that brief scenes are all a submissive is going to want from me; my dominance with impact play is too much for a relationship. I’m surprised, though, at how much the brand-new sub who walked in tonight appeals to me. How much can I teach him before he leaves for someone else? And will my heart survive when he does?
I rode the elevator down from Ian’s condo feeling a little odd. I wasn’t shaking or even lightheaded, but I was glad I wasn’t going in to work now. I wasn’t at all sure I could concentrate properly. I used the time to call an Uber and waited on the sidewalk until it arrived. It was now fairly late in the morning. I’d had enough sleep, but the events of the night kept flashing back whenever I stopped concentrating on something. My sore butt didn’t help. Contact with the rough fabric of the car seat was keeping me in a low-grade state of arousal. To keep my mind occupied I opened my work email account. Most were routine notifications from various hospital departments. None had any relevance for me. Instead of deleting them unread I went through each one very carefully. I finished before the car arrived at my building but not by much. Once he’d stopped, I thanked the driver and got out.
Back at home I decided to take another shower. I’d had one at Ian’s, but that orgasm over his lap had left me sticky and sweaty. Usually on a non-work day I’d hit the gym or the pool, do chores, and work on some of my research projects. I was going to skip all of that today. I still had the Monday off. I could catch up then. I was still feeling oddly limp, and I wasn’t referring to my dick. That was still trying to react to Ian’s last kiss and the reminder of his hand on my ass. I cleaned off quickly and turned the water cool until I was fully soft again, then, very unusually, I went back to bed. I lay on my stomach to keep from rubbing my aching ass, pulled my pillow to me and buried my head in my arms. I had to process what had happened over the last few hours.
I’d got what I wanted, and I’d wanted what I got. Shit, it had been intense. Funnily enough, getting fucked up the ass by another man was the least strange part of the whole experience. I’d knelt, in willing and abject submission. Ian, or rather Master Ian, had made it so easy. I had wanted to be at his feet, no need to make decisions or to be strong. I just had to follow his orders and that had felt incredibly good. All the pressure that I normally had to shoulder just disappeared, and the relief was unbelievable. I hadn’t realized how tense I was until he let me give it up. And then there had been the spanking. My God, that spanking! It had hurt, certainly, but not more than I could handle; the pain seemed to create a direct line to my dick and the sensation fed into the pleasure. I wanted to do it again, a different experience, more intensity. I took a deep breath because I was in danger of breaking the rule that I’d been given just before leaving.
There was no one I could talk to about this. I wasn’t going to tell my parents that I had had so much as a date. They’d been encouraging me to move on for a while now. I couldn’t face telling them about being bisexual yet, and there was no way I was going to pretend that I was seeing a woman. If I stayed in this headspace, it would be a conversation I’d need to have in future. Cindy had been my best friend all the time we were married, and there was no one I would give that title to now. My brother was a good deal older than me, and I’d never been close to my sister. I’d lost touch with my friends from residency, both by taking an extra year and by moving to Toronto after my two years in the US. I had made friends in a casual way with my new co-workers, but there was no one I was going to talk to about my sexuality, and certainly not the kink part! They all knew the basics of the story that I’d told Ian the night before so they would assume that I was straight. I was on my own in this.
