Country boy Johnny’s been having a tough time ever since he caught his wife in bed with his best friend and business partner. The comic book café owner and graphic novelist throws himself into his floundering business. He’s getting over a nasty divorce and getting on with his life. He can’t believe his luck when local vet, Nelson O’Keefe, the only other single guy in town invites him on a trip – a free spa resort vacation he won in an online contest.
For Johnny, whose luck has been down, down, down, things might finally be turning around. Johnny thinks a break is just what he needs, but en route to Montego Bay, he discovers his dream holiday is one big gay Mardi Gras. He freaks. Not only that but he can’t get a flight out of St. Maarten for at least a week. Advised by his friends and his traveling companion to have fun and relax, he goes berserk. He’s not gay. Never was. Never will be. He’s just a country boy. Isn’t he?
“But Pablo isn’t gay,” I said. “Neither am I.”
Quinn and Rex just laughed and ordered another round of drinks. I’d somehow slurped down an entire, gigantic cocktail and was feeling no pain. So I laughed right along with them. Our second round of drinks arrived with a tray of appetizers. The jumbo shrimp and juicy pieces of grilled lobster were the perfect accompaniment.
“Why do you think it’s funny that I’m not gay?” I asked Quinn. I was aware of slurring my words, but by then I think we were all a bit hammered. I’d never had over-proof rum before. It needed a warning label: Makes the drinker inclined to say really dumb stuff.
I tried to rest my elbow on the table and put my chin on my wrist. Somehow I missed and banged my head on the table.
“Everybody says they’re straight,” Rex observed when I brought my head back up again.
“But I am straight,” I bleated.
“Oh, they all say that. Especially in gay porn. They all claim to be gay for pay but the reality is they’re g-a-y.”
“Really?” My cheeks felt like they were on fire. “But I’m not gay. Honest.”
“Your ex-wife says you are,” Nelson reminded me.
“Because she was cheating on me.” Suddenly the world was a gloomy place again. I longed for a world like my comic books where people had quests and dreams, where there was a place for nobility in the world. And nobody had pimply asses.
I thought about the coyote and tears sprang to my eyes.
“Darling,” Quinn said, his hand covering mine. “I hate to break it to you, but you are so gay…”