The Drunk Monkeys Collection, Volume 2 (MFM)

Drunk Monkeys

Siren-BookStrand, Inc.

Heat Rating: Sextreme
Word Count: 133,549
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[Siren Menage Everlasting: Erotic Romance, Futuristic, Sci-Fi,  Menage a Trois, Sex Toys, MFM, HEA]

Grease Monkey

Riots? Plague? Armageddon? Child’s play for…the Drunk Monkeys.

Dolce Quinn is a former sniper and military mechanic trying to find and rescue her friends now that Los Angeles is coming apart at the seams. She teams up with a neighbor and formulates a plan to avoid the riots and Kite virus, but they still have to escape the city safely.

The Drunk Monkeys have a line on another doctor from The List. When Roscoe and Niner try to rescue the doctor, their plan almost goes to hell in the face of an oncoming mob until Dolce steps in and saves their bacon.

Banding together, the group takes in Dolce and her neighbor. When a devastating earthquake levels the region, they must evacuate. Just one little problem—they still have a military mole to take care of. And when you mix a grease monkey with a couple of Drunk Monkeys, there’s a whole lot of shakin’ going on.

Barrel of Monkeys

One can of whup-ass delivered courtesy of…the Drunk Monkeys.

Gia Quick is an LA Sheriff’s deputy in Santa Clarita. She gets an emergency promotion to station chief after Kite, riots, and earthquakes bring the region to its knees. She knows the only solution to keep rioters and Kiters out is to blow the freeway and give citizens time to escape.

Omega and Echo are on a recon mission when a mob ambushes them and they get separated from the rest of the Drunk Monkeys. They find Gia arresting—even after the short, feisty deputy arrests them. She needs a road blown and they can help, if they can locate the rest of their unit.

Unfortunately, Kite hits close to home for Gia, and there’s nothing keeping her in Santa Clarita. But the military has one hell of a cover-up underway. When Gia opens this barrel of monkeys, she might find more than she bargained for…and she just might find love.

Tymber Dalton is a Siren-exclusive author.

The Drunk Monkeys Collection, Volume 2 (MFM)
0 Ratings (0.0)

The Drunk Monkeys Collection, Volume 2 (MFM)

Drunk Monkeys

Siren-BookStrand, Inc.

Heat Rating: Sextreme
Word Count: 133,549
0 Ratings (0.0)
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Cover Art by Siren Publishing

Grease Monkey


Dusk was settling uncomfortably across the city when they returned to the safe house and underwent another round of stick tests. Then they went to the common room and filled Papa in about their success. Dr. Perkins was happy to have her data back, and immediately disappeared into Q and Sin’s room with them to share it with them on her laptop.

“You’re welcome,” Roscoe called out to the closing door.

“Dude, tone back the Brooklyn a little, okay?” Dolce said. “You’re coming off as a ginormous dick.” She’d seen plenty of his type before in the military. They were hot, hard bodies, even hotter tempers, and they thought they were god’s gift to the estrogen-enabled.

“That’s because he can be a dick,” a red-haired woman said as she walked into the room. “A big, walking scrotum topped by a raging head.”

“Fuck you, Pandora,” he said.

Niner put out an arm. “Whoa, dude. Chill the fuck out.”

“We just risked our asses for this woman we don’t even know, to find her friends, okay? We didn’t have to bring her or her friend back here. We didn’t have to go looking for them. And what do we get? Do we get a thank-you? No.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Dolce said. “Thank you for allowing me to save your goddamned asses in the parking lot and bringing us both back here. And thank you for trying to find my friends. I do appreciate it. And I’m sorry you’re a ginormous walking penis.”

Pandora snorted in laughter as she headed into the kitchen. “I’m staying out of this one. But it sounds really good.”

* * * *

Niner didn’t know what the hell was going on with Roscoe, but he was about to take his partner outside and bust his fucking ass over it.

He was being rude, even by Roscoe standards, which could come off as pretty rude to start with.

And Niner really didn’t want to piss this woman off. She was hot, she had skills, and maybe they might have a little farking luck for a change.

No, that didn’t guarantee they’d end up with her like the other three triads.

But dammit, he wanted a farking shot, at least. And Roscoe was shooting them in the balls.

* * * *

Roscoe didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. He seemed unable, despite his best efforts, to do anything but trade increasingly sharp and loud barbs with the woman.

And it was making him hot.

Like wanted to back her up against a wall, rip off her panties, and fuck her until his cock screamed for mercy kind of hot.

If he couldn’t figure out how to salvage this and turn it around into ragey, makeup-slash-hello-nice-to-meet-you sex, he was going to beat his own brains in. He already saw, from the look on Niner’s face, that his partner was about ready to do the job for him.


“That the best you got, girl?” Roscoe stepped forward, motioning at Dolce, daring her to get in his face.

To his shock and surprise, she did just that. “Dude, you cannot handle me at my best. I’d have to tone it down for you or your farking brain would melt.”

Pandora leaned over the counter of a pass-through window from the kitchen. “Wow. Dude, she just handed you your balls. How does that feel?”

Niner threw his arms in the air. “I give the fark up. I’m apparently never getting laid again as long as you’re my partner. I’m going to our room.”


Maybe there is something wrong with me. “I can handle you and more, girl,” Roscoe finally said to Dolce.

She backed up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, right.”

He stepped around her. “Put your money where your mouth is.” Oh, shut the fark up, dude!

He followed Niner to their room.

I am never getting laid again in my life.


He slammed the door shut behind him. Niner wheeled around. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he screamed at Roscoe.

“I don’t know! I’m sorry.”

* * * *

Both Roscoe and Niner were pretty damn hot. Hell, all the guys she’d seen so far looked hot.

Pandora emerged from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hand, and walked over to Dolce. “Let me spin you a tale,” she said to Dolce. “These guys are split into ten teams of two. So far, three of us women have been sucked in by their charms. Other guys,” she quickly expounded. “Not Niner and Roscoe. I’ve got Tango and Doc. I was the first female Drunk Monkey. You want those two bozos, if you’re remotely interested in them, then go after them. Roscoe seems to suffer from chronic foot-in-mouth disease, but he has a good heart.”

“Wait, what?”

Pandora smiled. “Oooh, yeah. Let me tell you what. You ain’t had lovin’ until you’ve done the funky monkey with a team of these guys.”

Both of them? Two guys?”

“You got a boyfriend or husband?”

Dolce stared down the hall as she shook her head.

Pandora leaned in. “I don’t know about you, but that looked like a confused guy who needs a woman to rein in him. Can’t hurt to try right? No one’s saying you got to marry them, or even like them. But why be lonely? Life is pretty damn short and getting shorter every day. Especially now.”

Dolce thought about the two men, their hot bodies.

How long it’d been since she’d gotten laid.

How they might not have much longer on this planet.

You only live once, right?

She stared.

Fuck it.

Before she realized what she was doing, Dolce found herself storming down the hall after the men.

She thought she heard Pandora mutter, “Atta girl,” in her wake.




Dolce raced after the men, following them to their room. She walked in and slammed the door shut after her.

“You are a pain in the farking ass!” she yelled at Roscoe.

Niner crossed his arms over his chest. “Dude, apologize for being an ass.”

“I wasn’t trying to be an ass,” he said. “It’s not my fault she’s too sensitive.”

“Kiss my ass!” Dolce yelled at Roscoe.

“Yeah? Well, maybe I do want to kiss your ass!” he yelled back. “And your lips. And any other part of your body that I think about kissing. So there!”

“Yeah? Well, maybe I’d like that!” she shouted back.

Niner leaned against the wall, one hand now covering his face as he shook his head. “Guys, if that’s foreplay, really?” He looked at them. “Can’t we come up with something, I don’t know…a little more romantic and a little less shouty?”

She just realized what she and Roscoe had said to each other. Before she could think about it too long, he’d grabbed her and now he was kissing her.

Pretty damn well, come to think of it.

After a second of hesitation, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, pleasantly startled when she felt his cock harden in his trousers.


The boy seemed to be well hung.

Lucky me.

That’s more like it,” Niner said. He walked over and stood behind her, pressing her against Roscoe’s body.

And damned if it didn’t feel like his well-hung cock was hard, too. She hoped that was his cock pressing against her ass.

Because if it wasn’t his cock, she’d be disappointed.

Damned disappointed.

Fuck it. Life was short, she had a five-year, these guys were well-hung hunks, and she was going to grab happiness by the balls and hang on tight for as long as she could. She dropped her hands to Roscoe’s ass and dug her fingers in, pulling his hips against hers.

Yep, that was his cock.

Yep, she was going to be one really happy girl here shortly.

Just not too shortly, she hoped.

Wouldn’t that be a kicker, for him to be that well hung and a quick-draw?

She shoved that thought away.

Niner brushed her hair from the nape of her neck and kissed her there. Fiery jolts of pleasure shot straight down her spine and into her clit. “Roscoe,” he mumbled, “keep your fucking mouth shut until I tell you otherwise. You piss her off again in the next hour or so, I’m going to rip your cock off and shove it up your ass.”

She broke free just long enough to clarify. “For speaking,” she said. “You can open your mouth for other things.”

Roscoe grinned, fisted her hair in his hand, and crushed his lips onto hers again.

Oh, baby.

Well, hell, if he could replicate some of that on other parts of her body with his mouth, she didn’t care how fast he was with his cock. She’d make do.

“You got things covered?” Niner murmured in her ear, “Or do I need to grab condoms?”

Roscoe broke their kiss long enough to let her speak. “As long as you guys are clean, I’m covered.”

“Excellent.” He grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up, forcing her and Roscoe to let loose of each other long enough for him to yank it up and off over her head. Her sports bra followed. She was trying to kick her shoes off when she realized she had her damn tactical boots on. Niner started working on her belt and her jeans. He no sooner got those shoved down her hips than Roscoe sank to his knees and planted that obnoxious mouth of his right into her pussy.

Her eyes fell closed as she grabbed his shoulders for support, a soft moan escaping her.

“Oh, yes,” Niner said. “He makes up with enthusiasm for what he lacks in finesse.” From behind her, she felt Niner’s fingers probing between her legs, one working up into her pussy, which was now quickly growing wet from the way Roscoe was licking her clit.

“Just keep doing that, partner,” Niner said to him. She heard him unfasten his belt and unzip. Then he was pushing her over a little more and she moaned in disappointment when his finger disappeared. Fortunately, it was quickly replaced by the thick knob of his cock.

She gasped, in surprise and shock and more than just a little admiration.

“Hang on, sweetie,” Niner grunted, “because this first one’s going to be hard and fast. You have no fucking idea how long it’s been.” He grabbed her hips and sank all the way into her cunt, stretching her and making her gasp again. This time in pleasure, because Roscoe had settled in for the duration and apparently wasn’t stopping.


Barrel of Monkeys


She reholstered her sidearm and walked down to the last cell. The drunk was still snoring, facedown, on the floor.

The other two men, sitting on a bench and appearing relatively relaxed, looked up at her arrival.

“He give you any trouble?” she asked, tipping her chin to indicate the drunk.

he black guy smiled, broad and beaming. Damn, he was cute. Really short hair, like maybe he usually shaved his head and it was growing back now, and built like a farking tank. The other guy was a cutie, too. Blue eyes and brown hair and while muscular, he looked more like an athlete than a battering ram when compared to his partner.

Both men stood. The black guy was a couple inches taller than the white dude, and he was apparently in charge. “Naw,” he said. “Just snoring a little. I think he might have pissed himself at some point, but we kept an eye out to make sure he didn’t puke and aspirate.”

She liked that answer. Better, she liked the confident tone he delivered it in. Not quite cocky, but without a hint of condescension, either.

 “Thanks. So what’s your name?”

“Omega.” He hooked a thumb in the other man’s direction. “This here is my partner, Echo.”

She was shocked that a little, tiny part of her felt a pang of disappointment. “Ah.”

Omega laughed. “Not that kind of partner. We’re straight.” He finally walked over to the door and she realized just how much she had to crane her head back to look up to meet his gaze.

Holy hell.

“So what needs to happen next, ma’am?” he asked.

Again, no condescension. More like military deference, once again reinforcing her gut instinct about them. “You’re going to turn around, arms behind you, and stick your hands out that access hole there. I’m going to fingerprint you and then we’ll see what happens.”

“I’d prefer we didn’t get printed.”

Of course it couldn’t be that easy. “Sorry, but I didn’t ask your opinion. You going to do it? Or do I need to get a couple of guys in here to tase your asses?”

“We’re on a mission. If you take our prints, it could put everything in jeopardy.”

“If you haven’t noticed, buddy, the world as we know it is coming to an end. You are, frankly, not my highest priority.” She shrugged. “Sit in a cell all night. I don’t care.” She started to walk away.

“I heard you’re in the market for a new demolitions expert,” he called out.

That stopped her in her tracks. She backed up and met his brown gaze through the glass. “Where’d you hear that?”

“The two who brought us in. They were talking in the front seat. Brilliant plan, by the way. But if that kid who died was your only explosives guy, you’re going to either need a new plan, or a new guy.”

“Then start talking.”

“How about a little quid pro quo?”

She honestly couldn’t tell if the guy was full of shit or not. “How about I remind you you’re the ones locked in a holding cell, soldier.”

One eyebrow arched up.

Damn he was cute.

“You former military?” he asked.

“I was an MP. Two years in Manila, two in Alaska.” He didn’t need to know about her three months in Guam. In fact, no one outside the military, or outside of the Pentagon, knew about that.

Echo laughed. “How the fark you land yourself in Alaska?”

She shrugged. “I wouldn’t fuck a guy and nearly ripped his balls off.”

Both men winced, giving her more than a little smug satisfaction.

“Okay,” Omega said. “So then you know about military protocols.”

“You could say that, yeah. Been a while since I was in. Got out when I was twenty-two. Went in right after high school.”

“So how long you been a deputy?” Echo asked.

“Fourteen years with LASD.” She laughed. “I’m a captain promoted to station chief as of this morning. You believe that shit?”

“Not that this station will be around much longer,” Omega observed.

“You got that right. I’m guessing three days at the most. If we’re damn lucky. And that’s doubtful.” She studied the men. “So you’re what, special ops?”

“Ever hear of the SOTIF program?” Omega asked.


“Well, it’s only been around four years, so I doubt you would unless you have friends who are still in. It’s a grueling process. People on SOTIF teams make the former special ops teams from the different military branches look like pussies by comparison.”

“Now you have my interest,” she said. She knew he was stalling her, but if he was talking, she’d listen.

“Special Operations and Tactical Infiltration Force,” Omega said. “There are at least ten teams of twenty, that we’re aware of. Not our job to know all of it. Our unit designation is SOTIF1.”

“Guess that makes you guys extra special, huh?”

“You could say that. And we were doing recon to get our unit out of Altadena when we ran into those jokers and their little makeshift roadblock.”

“Your unit?”

“The rest of our guys. And some special cargo.”

“More grenades?”

He smiled. “Time for that quid pro quo to kick in. Then we’ll talk some more.”

“Well, until I can take your prints and prove who you are, you ain’t going anywhere.”

“Even if I can point you to not one, but two highly skilled demolitions and explosives experts?”




When Gia finished her shower, she thought about getting fully dressed again, then changed her mind.

Screw it. Either they will, or they won’t.

She didn’t meet anyone in the hallway as she marched down the corridor, towel tightly wrapped around her, shower bag over her shoulder, bulletproof vest in one hand and her mug of coffee in the other.

Taking a deep breath, she walked into her office…

And found herself alone.

Well, damn.

She was standing there trying to decide how to process that, fighting off her disappointment and wondering whether it meant they weren’t interested after all and had skedaddled, or what, when the door opened.

She turned. Omega and Echo practically filled the doorway. Omega entered first, Echo on his heels and closing and locking it behind them.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Both men smiled. Omega held up a couple of condom pouches. “You still want to see how stiff you can make something?”

Heart racing, she nodded.

The men walked over. Echo took her vest and dropped it on the floor, and took the mug of coffee from her and set it on the file cabinet next to her while Omega relieved her of the shower bag and set it on the floor.


Omega stood in front of her while Echo stood behind her. “You need to say it. We need to hear you say it.”

She wasn’t sure she could say anything at that point because her damn mouth had gone dry again.

But she tried. “I wouldn’t mind fooling around with you two, if you’re up to it.”

Omega stepped forward, pressing her back against Echo. His brown gaze burned down into her eyes. “How’s that feel? That feel like we’re up for it, Gia?”

A soft whine escaped her. She would be in for a world of the good kind of hurt the next morning. Dave had been average. These two both felt like they were hung.

She nodded.

Echo’s lips scorched her skin as he nibbled along the nape of her neck. She’d need another shower at this rate, because it felt like her pussy was throbbing already and juices were sliding down the insides of her thighs.

Omega stepped back only so he could take her towel and slowly unwrap it from around her. He took his time, his gaze never leaving hers. “Don’t have a lot of time right now, unfortunately,” he said, “but more than enough time to leave all three of us satisfied at once. You ever been spit-roasted?”

She had to swallow again and shook her head instead of trying to answer.

Her nipples pebbled in the cool air as he dropped the towel. He reached up and cupped her breasts, playing with her nipples, his deep brown flesh in stark contrast to her pale skin. “How would you like to come with his cock down your throat and mine sliding up that sweet pussy of yours?”

She nodded. Yeah, I’m good with that! But the words wouldn’t come.

He smiled and leaned in, dipping his knees so he could kiss her.

He started out gently, but then she realized how damn horny she was, how hot these guys were, and how badly she did not want their fun ruined by someone knocking on the door and needing her.

Quickie now, quality later.

So she wrapped her arms around his neck and locked lips with him, hooking a leg around one of his so he couldn’t move away.

Echo grabbed her hips and ground against her bare ass. The feel of his iron bulge, concealed by the coarse fabric of his trousers, nearly drove her over the edge right there. Her clit throbbed, and how sad was she that she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d masturbated?

Hell, the last time she’d felt like masturbating.

Echo’s hands traveled around to her belly, down, between her thighs. He swiped two fingers between her pussy lips and she let out a loud moan muffled only by Omega’s mouth on hers.

“Oh, yeah,” Echo said. “She’s primed.” He slid one, then two fingers inside her cunt lips and started slowly fucking her with them.

Omega lifted his mouth from hers. “We don’t screw around,” he said. “You want to try this with us, we’re cool with that. But you don’t go messing around with anyone else, either. You get tired of us, you tell us, and we part friends first. Then you’re free to go do whatever you want. Deal?”

She nodded, a little sanity breaking through. “I’m clean,” she said, “And have a five-year.”

He smiled. “Well, now that’s good. That means for this round, we don’t need these.” He dropped the condoms onto the floor and then grabbed her hands and put them on the front of his trousers, which looked like they would tear open from the strain. “How about you say hello?”

Echo let go of her so she could drop to her knees in front of Omega. She practically ripped his trousers open and when she had his cock freed from his briefs, she enjoyed the way his fingers tangled in her short brown hair as she went down on him.

Oh, yes, she’d be feeling this tomorrow. Nine inches, at least, and thick.

And she’d enjoy every damn ache and pain.

He let out a soft hiss. “Easy, baby. Don’t suck one out of me yet,” he warned. “Just a hello kiss. Now Echo. Don’t leave him hanging.”

Echo stepped up next to Omega and she also eagerly unwrapped him like a kid at Christmas. She kept one hand circled around the base of Omega’s cock, his hips slowly thrusting against her grip as she devoured Echo’s. He wasn’t quite as long as Omega, but a little thicker.

No complaints from her at all. Both of them put Dave to shame.

After a moment, he, too, pulled her off his cock. “Over the desk, baby,” he hoarsely said. “Right now.”

They shoved Baynes’ desk calendar and other items over to the side and lifted her so she was lying facedown over the desk. Echo stood in front of her while Omega stepped between her legs. Her toes barely touched the floor, but she opened her mouth wide, trying to reach Echo’s cock again while Omega swiped the head of his cock through her pussy lips and started pressing the head of it in.

She let out a moan that was only half muffled by Echo’s cock sliding between her lips.

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