Stupid Mistletoe (MM)

Who Needs Christmas? 3

Siren-BookStrand, Inc.

Heat Rating: Scorching
Word Count: 35,239
47 Ratings (4.7)

[Siren Classic ManLove: Erotic Alternative Paranormal Romance, M/M, elves, public exhibition, bondage, spanking, sex toys]

Twelve elves left the North Pole to be free of all things Christmas and have been living together for decades. All this time they have gone without their mates, but when the first of the twelve finds his, the others have hope that fate will bring them theirs.

Idiot is an elf whose hatred of mistletoe and the North Pole has started to transfer into a loathing of the monotony his life contains. It is during this depression that he happens to encounter Shely.

Shely Carmichael is a man battling with the recent loss of his son and feelings of dissatisfaction with his position in the navy. The appearance of Idiot seems a promising remedy for his emotional wounds.

Will Idiot and Shely be able to put all of their problems aside and enjoy the gift fate bestowed when it brought them together?

A Siren Erotic Romance


Click here to watch the video trailer for the Who Needs Christmas? series!

Stupid Mistletoe (MM)
47 Ratings (4.7)

Stupid Mistletoe (MM)

Who Needs Christmas? 3

Siren-BookStrand, Inc.

Heat Rating: Scorching
Word Count: 35,239
47 Ratings (4.7)
In Wish List
Available formats
Cover Art by Jinger Heaston
Idiot met his soul mate, Shely , who at the time was suffering a serious lose. The timing in when they met wasn't perfect but it happened just when they needed each other the most.
Softcover C



“Stupid fucking mistletoe,” I sneered as a man and my friends started chuckling around me. I glanced at them and put on my best offended face. “You guys hate Christmas just as much, and who dresses up as mistletoe for Halloween? That’s so stupid!”

“I give him a nine for creativity.” Surprise snickered and winked at me. “I mean, it had to take him hours to get that shit all stringed up on him, and I can’t imagine the piece in the crack of his ass feels good.”

“I still think I should turn his mistletoe into poison ivy.” I sat back against the booth with a huff.

“You want to tell us what’s really going on, Idiot?” Chiquita asked. He was annoyingly good at gauging other people’s feelings.

“I feel like I’m stuck in Groundhog Day,” I blurted out without meaning to. Shit! I saw several jaws drop, and I knew I needed to get out of there. I didn’t do heart-to-heart talks or feelings. It’s not like I looked down on them or people who were comfortable discussing their feelings. Quite the opposite actually. I wish I could discuss them. It just wasn’t in me. I always felt like something was wrong with me when I did.

I practically dove out of the booth and mumbled something about hitting the head as I walked very quickly away from them. I’m sure I’d still get twenty questions when I got back, but for now, I could at least think about what I’d said. Because it was true, and I hadn’t even realized it was what I felt until I said it. Damn.

Glancing back at my friends, I saw several concerned looks being sent my way. I loved my friends, they were the greatest. They were the brothers that I chose, and I’d give my left fucking nut for any of them. I just didn’t know how to talk to them sometimes.

How did I tell the people I loved that my life bored me and I wondered what the purpose of it was all the time? It wasn’t like I was thinking of suicide or anything, I just didn’t get why I was here. And my life bored me.

Even tonight for example. We were at our favorite club, Leather No Lace, and it was a huge Halloween party, and I felt like I’d just done this. It was the same shit, different day. Even the people. They were all the same even though the faces changed.

It was always some big guy getting in my face that I should be his sub and pissed when I wasn’t a bottom. It was the same one-night stand that, most times, was sexually satisfying but left me feeling more alone in the end. And I was tired of it all. I wanted something more, new, and exciting for once.

I mean, the fight earlier that day Cave had with one of the werewolves was seriously the highlight of my month. Even the games and tournaments we were always a part of were getting redundant.

Always the same opponents, the same objectives, and, okay, the games changed, but really… How many differences can there be in shooting games? Even the storyboards start to blend. Now there are combat games that shoot zombies. Shooting zombies are supposed to be zombie games.

Maybe I needed a hobby? Everyone else had one, and they seemed happy.

I seriously considered that as I walked to one of the bathrooms on the main floor. I was listing through options in my head when I went inside and froze.

Now there was a face that wasn’t like all the others, a gorgeous man I’d consider keeping for more than one night. Unfortunately he was buttoning up his pants as he stared at the floor in shame.

There were also several guys cleaning up as well.

 “A hundred bucks to fuck my sub,” one guy said when he caught me staring. I’d guess he was the ringleader here because he was smiling too widely.

“You’re serious?” I asked as his words cut through my lustful thoughts about the man. I quickly called out to my friend Flower using our telepathy. He was normally the best at getting messages even when he’d shut his gift off. We didn’t have a clue why that was. Maybe he was a sensitive or something?

“I need help in the bathroom behind the main bar on the first level. Bring security. Some guy is trying to sell me his sub’s ass.”

“Seriously?” I could hear the disgust in my friend’s tone. “They need to start screening people better before letting them join. I’m getting tired of the assholes they’re allowing in.”

He cut the connection, and I focused on said asshole in front of me.

“Yeah, hundred bucks or go piss somewhere else,” he sneered at me. I glanced from him to the sub and noticed something… The sub looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. Not cool.

I ignored everyone else and walked right up to him. His strawberry blond hair shined in the hard bathroom lights, even though it was in a short flattop. The muscles all over his tall body were defined but not creepy ripped with veins bulging out. And I wanted to run my tongue over the barbed wire tat on his right arm. His dark blue eyes stared at me questioningly.

“Are you next?” he asked hesitantly in his deep voice. But I saw the spark of lust in his eyes at the idea, too. Interesting.

“You call them ‘sir,’” the asshole shouted and bitch slapped the pretty man. That was it!

“Touch him again and I’ll serve your nuts to you,” I snarled over my shoulder, not even bothering to look at him. I was focused on the man in front of me. “Did you agree to this? Is this what you want?”




I’d taken care of Shely’s soreness the night before, and when I got up, I stretched him magically. He’d moaned in his sleep as I moved down his body and stared at how magnificent he was after I’d pulled off the covers. Every inch of him was defined muscular yumminess. I ran my fingers over his hard cock and sac in an attempt to not only keep his arousal up but bring him out of his sleep.

“Wake up, baby. I think it’s time we play,” I said gently as I leaned over his groin. I licked the fat red head of his cock a few times and was delighted when he started leaking pre-cum. He tasted divine! Shely whimpered and pulled his knees to his chest. I glanced up at him and saw his eyes hooded with desire. “Good morning.”

“Hi,” he said shyly and started to lower his legs. I placed my hands over his to keep them where they’d been and rubbed my cock against his hole. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“Is that a yes that I can have you?”

“Yes! I’m yours, Paul. Fuck me,” he begged as he stared into my eyes. “I want you to show me everything.”

“I’ll do my best,” I purred and thrust into him. I bottomed out in one shot and leaned over his body. “Wrap your legs around my upper back.”

He did as I asked and groaned in pleasure. “You’re in me even deeper. How did I sleep through you stretching me?”

Telling him I did it magically wasn’t an option, so I decided to give a half truth. “I know what I’m doing.” I pulled back out slowly and snapped my hips hard. “See?”

“Yes, you do,” he gasped and started thrashing on the bed. I moved so my face was right in front of his and took my time opening his body up for mine.

“You’re so fucking tight, Shely. It’s amazing.”

“You’re amazing.” His tone said he wasn’t kidding even though I wanted to laugh just a little at the cheesy line. I kissed him passionately as I started taking him faster, making sure I included teeth this time. I had wanted to nibble on his plump lips, and I wasn’t going to let this chance pass me by. “Oh god, Paul!”

My heart soared as my fangs popped out as I realized the missing piece of the puzzle that was Shely. He was my mate. That’s why I was so drawn to him. That’s why I instantly wanted him away from those other men and to make him mine. This new knowledge shattered my control, and I started pounding into him with everything I had.

“Who do you belong to, Shely?” I growled and nuzzled my face in his neck, taking a deep breath of his intoxicating smell.

“You, Paul,” he moaned and wrapped his arms around me along with his legs.

“Idiot,” I grunted and fucked him harder and faster than any human could move. “My real name is Idiot, Shely. Paul Smith is just my human name.”

“Okay, I’m Idiot’s.” He snickered and then went serious. “Wait, human name? What does that make you?”

“Your mate.” I hissed and flashed him my fangs. He gasped and maybe went to say more, but I was quicker and struck, biting the right side of his neck.

Shely screamed my name as he instantly came, filling the space between us with his seed. I’d never heard a more blissful sound than his yell right then as he unloaded more than just his cum on me. I had a feeling he was opening his soul to me. I held off my orgasm, wanting to keep going and rock his world so maybe the fangs didn’t completely freak him out.

He gasped for air when he was spent and released me as he lowered his legs. Shely stared at me intently and swallowed loudly.

“W–We didn’t u–use a condom. I–I’ve never gone bareback b–before.”

“That’s what you’re focused on?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be relieved. “I’m not human, Shely. I can’t give you anything or catch a disease from you.”

“Okay, now the big one. What are you?”

“I’m yours,” I purred and leaned in to nuzzle his neck. He flinched, and I moved away so fast and pulled out of him. I was pissed, and though I knew it was irrational, I let it out. I flashed my fangs at him so he didn’t miss them. “Now you’re scared of me! Have I not treated you a hundred times better than those humans? Did I do anything to make you think my intentions are evil or I’d hurt you?”

“No,” he whispered and scooted to sit up against the headboard. He pulled his knees to his chest and covered himself with the sheet. Then I heard in his mind the real problem. “I don’t care if he’s a vampire or an alien, but what is this about being mates? God, I might need to work on my priorities. I just don’t want to be someone’s possession.”

“You’re not my possession,” I said in shock, of course forgetting he hadn’t said it out loud. “You’re my mate, and that makes us equals. Being mated to an elf is way different than a human marriage. I will never cheat on you, betray you, or hurt you. I can’t or it would literally kill me for not appreciating the gift fate gave me.”

“Fuck I need to get out of here! The best sex of my life shouldn’t be enough to deal with this.”

“Please don’t go until I’ve explained,” I begged and decided to take drastic measures. I flipped him over so he was on his hands and knees in a flash, moving behind him, and pushed into him. “This is more than the awesome sex.”

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