Blake is perfect. Well, at least he looks that way. His hair is thick. His features are nice. Everyone loves him, and to Blake's frustration, everyone falls in love with him, or at least they say they do.
Then something happens. Blake blacks out. In those most crucial of intimate moments, Blake blacks out.
After 101 horrible dates, Blake gets an offer from a man who swears he can handle him. But can sexy Jerome overlook what Blake considers to be his biggest flaw?
"I thought maybe we could go back to my place later," Darren said, topping off Blake's drink.
Blake looked at him. Yes, he was right. Tonight was the night.
"Sure," Blake said.
Blake let his eyes wander over Darren. He was cute enough. And he was single. And gay. And not a total psycho. Maybe, he was the one.
"I've got something for you," Darren said, winking at him.
Blake pushed his fake smile into high gear. God, that sounded gross. Did he really think he was the first person to ever use that line? Yeah, well, I've got something for you, too, Blake thought to himself, and not just that. I've got a big ass surprise for you that I hope will not rear its ugly head.
"Maybe we should go to a movie," Blake suggested.
"We've been to a lot of movies, hot stuff." Darren said. "Look, it's our seventh date. I think it's time."
"Okay," Blake said, taking another slug of wine.
They took Darren's Benz on their way to the high-rise apartment where Darren lived. While driving, Darren put his right hand on Blake's knee and squeezed. Still squeezing, he moved his hand further up Blake's leg. When Darren's hand was about six inches past Blake's knee, Blake grabbed Darren's hand and caressed it.
"What's wrong?" Darren asked.
"Nothing, I just want to hold your hand," Blake said.
"Well, I'm driving, but I plan to rev your engine when we get back to my place," Darren said. "Hey, you're not a premature ejaculator, are you? I mean it's okay, but if that's your deal, just remember that we've got to still keep my party going."
"I'm not a premature ejaculator, Darren, but I do think we need to talk."
"Look, you said no social diseases, right? Is that still the case? Because if not, no worries, I can wrap up everything we've got in a way that we'll both like."
"No. Wait, by social diseases, I guess you mean STDs. No, I don't have any of those, but I just want to talk to you about something before we fool around too much."
Darren parked the car in the garage of his apartment complex, and climbed out of the car. "Let's talk in the elevator, okay?" he said.
When the elevator door opened a man in a black suit was entangled with a woman in a red dress. The elevator seemed to startle them, and they suddenly stood as if they were in boot camp being called to attention. Blake pretended he didn't notice the way they quickly adjusted their clothing, and he smiled at them as the two couples passed each other. Once inside the elevator, Darren turned to him.
"Okay, so what'd you want to talk about?" Darren asked.
"Why, don't we talk when we're in your place?"
"Yeah, but I don't want to talk too long, sailor," Darren said, winking at him.
Blake did his best fake smile and silently prayed that there was wine in Darren's apartment because he didn't know how many more cheesy lines he would have to hear.
After opening the door, Darren placed his hand on the lower part of Blake's back and gave him a slight push. Darren followed Blake into the apartment, and then quickly closed the door. He then turned Blake around so that they were facing each other. Before Blake could respond, Darren kissed him.
Pulling back, Blake said, "Wait, we really need to talk for a minute."
"Blake, you're not a premature ejaculator, you don't have any social diseases, there's nothing you could say that could freak me out here," Darren said. "If you have a little schnozzle, no worries. I care about you. There's nothing you could do that would make me stop that. Okay?"
Blake looked at him. Maybe Darren really was a nice guy. "Okay. It's just that sometimes, I act a little different in bed. Things happen. I get a little excited, and then ..."
"Look, Blake. Why don't you show me, and not tell me? Like I said, there's nothing you can do in the bedroom that's going to turn me off," Darren said, reaching for Blake's belt.