The blue lights and sirens followed us all the way into the emergency room entrance. I laid on the horn and got out, went around the car to open the door for her, but someone yelled, "Freeze, Asshole!" so I just stood by the back of the car and let her yell. She got the door opened on her own, and her screams filled the airwaves. I'd had to help her get in, and she was stuck and could not get out.

"What did you do to her!" someone shouted at me.

And, "Step away from the car!"

And another, a third male voice, came from the door of the ER. "It's all right, miss, er ma'am, we've got you."

I saw her continue trying to force herself out the car door. Would they have to take it off its hinges? My poor car. "Help!" she screamed.

I sang out, "Fatty, fatty, two by four, can't get out the car's side door!"

The male nurse had reached her by now and was trying to pull her bodily out of the car. He looked Middle Eastern and I couldn't resist. "Look, the mountain has come to Mohammed!" Then I went toward him, with guns at my back, and eased her out of the car.

"I'm in agony! Get this thing out of me! I'm going to kill you!" this latter part, she aimed at me, trying to grab me by the neck.

"You should have thought about that nine months ago!" I laughed.

The cops had holstered their guns but were standing by, looking useless and horrified. The nurse waved two other people out with a gurney, held up my sister with one hand, and grabbed me by the neck of my shirt with the other. He puffed up right in my face, and his was a very handsome face I might add, and snarled, "You bastard! She should have been in here hours ago! Where were you all this time?"

"At the Wild Hare, having a nice, peaceful drink," I answered, pushing his hand away from my throat.

"That's a gay bar!" he hissed. "You pervert!"

Oh? "And you'd know that how?" I asked pleasantly.

"This is atrocious! You should be arrested! What a horrible, horrible little man you are! You straight men have no consideration at all for your women!"

"She's my sister," I shrugged, hoping the cops wouldn't let him throttle me. I noticed he had green eyes, adorable, cute, really, and, hmm, gay? This could be interesting.

"Fuck all of you!" my sister screamed from the gurney, where the two men were trying to keep her from jumping off to, presumably, kill everyone with a penis.

Putting his face so close to mine I could have kissed him had I wished -- which I did, I mean, wish, not do -- he shouted, "You pervert! You think that makes it better? Your own sister!?"

My sister howled, the two men moved off with her, and, from my car, music blared.