He scans my face with tightness in his troubled eyes and a turned-down mouth. “I was worried you would lose respect for me once you learned of my secret and maybe even decide to move on,” Donovan admits. “I was planning to tell you on our trip to Mammoth but then you opened up about your traumatic childhood and I didn’t want to nullify your experience with mine. I didn’t want it to become a competition of whose childhood was the worst or invalidate the pain you hold. I needed you to know at that moment that I was there for you to help you through your pain and to only provide you with pleasure and happiness from that point forward. Because that’s what you deserve, Kenna, to be treated only with love and tenderness—to be placed on a pedestal and doted on for the rest of your life. You are a special person, not only to me but to the world. And I’m falling for you in a very big way.”
How could he think I would move on because of this secret? If anyone should be running, it’s him. I’m damaged goods. I’ve built walls around me so high I’m starting to wither from the constant shadow cast on my being. But Donovan has already helped me break through some of my walls and I’m being drawn toward the sliver of steady light streaming in that is him. We are both injured souls from our pasts. Maybe together we can help heal each other and walk hand in hand toward the happiness that we both deserve.
“Donovan, I’m falling for you, too,” I declare with certainty. “And it scares me, but your honesty and trust with your secret make me feel like we are both starting at an equally vulnerable place and only good things can come from this point forward.”
Donovan gives me a half smile, zeroing in on his target of my lips. We lean toward each other with electrifying passion, pouring our unrestricted feelings into a kiss that never ends. He guides our bodies down to his bed and adjusts his torso over mine. The intensity of the kiss increases and we are all lips and tongue and teeth everywhere.
He drops his mouth to my neck and grazes his teeth on my ear. “I have needed this, I have needed you, and I didn’t even know it until you came into my life.” Donovan crushes his mouth to mine, forcing a moan deep from my throat. He teases my tongue with his and lets out a guttural growl as his hands start to wander down my shoulder to my waist and slowly back up to my breast. I arch my breast into his palm, begging for more of his touch. I hitch my leg over his, digging my hip into his side, feeling his hardened length against my thigh. I whimper from the tightening and pulling in my groin and begin grabbing at fistfuls of his shirt, trying to pull him closer to my body.
Donovan responds to my need for him to be closer by dropping his chest on mine with the support of one elbow and moving his hand from my breast to my hip and thigh hitched over his leg. He cups my ass and pulls it closer to his side, grinding me on his leg. The sensation from the friction of my jeans over my underwear is building and I moan and whimper louder and more frequently into his mouth. Donovan releases his grip on my ass and pulls me by the waist flat on top of him. His erection is now pressing firmly against the spot where the sensation is building under my panties. Both of Donovan’s hands are now cupping my ass and helping me rock against him. The friction builds the intensity between my legs. I know this feeling. I’ve brought myself to this point on my own and I know what will follow if we continue down this path of pleasure, the closeness, the heat, the rocking, the building of pleasure all leading to one final outcome my body is craving.
I betray my body, reaching behind me, taking a hold of Donovan’s hands, pulling them off me and up next to our heads, interlacing our fingers. I slow the kissing and steady the rocking. I pull my face back slightly and we smile at each other, basking in the afterglow of such passion. I think we both know how amazing it’s going to be when I completely surrender to him. But after hearing his confession I now want to wait—to make it special. This is different than with any of the other guys I’ve ever been with, and I want my first time with Donovan to be magical. This is going to be more than amazing sex. I can see that now. This is going to be the merging of our bodies, our minds, and our souls.
I look in to his half-hooded eyes and drop my lips to just a fraction above his. He opens his lips slightly and I mimic the action of kissing him but don’t actually touch his lips. The magnetic or electric pull between us is palpable. The further I pull back it wanes, but hovering my lips just over his builds in sensation. It’s like two magnets coming close together. I love this feeling—the building in intensity with each swipe of my lips close to his but not actually touching.
Donovan pulls his hands from mine and grabs the sides of my head, pulling me into him, crashing his mouth on mine, and detonating an explosive kiss that sends me reeling into outer space. Without breaking our kiss, he rolls me over onto my back, taking back control. I submit to him because I trust him. He must sense this because he slows the kiss and eventually stops by laying his forehead to mine as we catch our breath. He pulls his lips back from mine and swipes away the hair from my face, planting gentle kisses all over my lips, jaw, and neck. I feel like we have just shared in something liberating for both our souls and we can now walk hand in hand toward that healing light.