"A fundamental change in someone’s personality is tough to deal with for those who knew the person before. When it involves physical changes as well, as in the case of Joey who used to be human and is now a werewolf, it becomes even tougher. What has been building for many books in the ‘Rogue Werewolves’ series finally comes to a head in ‘Heartsick Alpha’. Joey and Dean struggle with their relationship, the brainwashing Joey has been through, and the fact that Joey is, at a basic level, no longer the same man he used to be. He is no longer human. This would be a tall order for any couple, and it makes Joey and Dean’s struggle suspenseful as they deal with the unexpected. Dean has been through a lot. First he thought Joey was dead, having taken the bullets meant for Dean, and it almost killed Dean as well. He went off into the forest and was less than happy when the pack found him and “forced” him to return. Then he found out Joey is still alive but has been turned into a werewolf, cruelly tortured, and made to think all kinds of horrible things about several members of the pack, including that Dean raped him. Joey ends up chained in the basement because he is so out of control and with his new werewolf strength he is a real danger. All Dean wants to do is to take his mate in his arms and hold him so he can protect Joey from the nightmares that plague him. But he can’t do that, and knows it wouldn’t help anyway. Instead he does the best thing possible: he is patient and figures out a way to pull Joey out of the planted memories. I never thought Dean had it in him, as cruel as he used to be to Joey in the beginning. Dean more than does penance in this book, and he redeems himself thoroughly. Joey is in terrible shape now that he is back with the pack. He is angry, out for revenge, and generally out of control with violence. He clearly remembers all the atrocities the pack member committed on him – until there is one small doubt as Dean talks to him. Then another, and soon Joey realizes he cannot rely on what he thinks he remembers. The process is slow, and the confusion significant as he can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t for a while, but he manages to drag himself out of the worst of it with Dean’s help. Until one day he has a relapse and when he figures out what caused it, the pack has the first real hint as to who did this. Now the hunt for the abusive scientists is on! If you have waited for Joey and Dean’s story, if you want to know more about two men who used to have an up-and-down relationship before having to deal with traumatic change on top of that, and if you’re looking for a read that is suspenseful, emotionally intense, and very hot, then you will probably enjoy this novella." -- Serena Yates, Rainbow Book Reviews
Dean and Max hadn’t thought of everything. Joey could hang himself with the fabric, but even though he’d come here knowing it was an option, a last resort, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He wanted to live.
And part of him wanted to see that hopeful light that would come into Dean’s eyes when he took a look at the paper plates and saw them empty.
It made his heart do a stupid little skip, and Joey felt warm all over. He ignored it, like he always did. It didn’t mean anything. It was all a trick.
Joey closed his eyes as he settled into his nest. He didn’t intend to sleep, but the combination of just a heavy meal, the energy he’d used up by screaming and punching the walls and bars, and being awake for so long, took their toll on him.
He felt like he’d just blinked before he opened his eyes and snapped his head up.
Dean. He was back.
And he was in Joey’s cage. He knelt down in front of him, inches from Joey’s body, and he had one of Joey’s hands in his.
Joey tensed, yanking his injured hand out of Dean’s grasp. He opened and closed his fist, stretching out the muscles in his hand, despite how much it hurt to do so. He’d rather the pain than that warm tingle Dean’s touch had left him with. Anything but that. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
Fuck. If he’d been awake for a little while longer, he wouldn’t have sounded like he was so scared.
Dean didn’t answer right away. His gaze stayed locked down on Joey’s knuckles, but then he looked up, probably spotting the bits of blood on the concrete walls, and on the bars of Joey’s cage.
“You keep hurting yourself. You shouldn’t do that,” Dean said.
“Fuck you, like you care,” Joey snapped.
“I do care. I love you,” Dean said.
Dean always said that. He said it so much the words had no meaning. They’d never had any meaning, and Joey fucking despised hearing words like that.
“But I do love you.”
“Stop saying that! Ow!”
Joey had snapped the words, so angry that Dean always seemed to spit them out so easily, that he’d slammed his fist down onto the blankets he’d been sitting in, and that hadn’t felt good in the least.
The second he’d yelped like that, Dean shot his hands out and made a grab for Joey’s hand. “Careful!” he’d said.
“Don’t touch me!”
Joey yanked himself away, curled up in on himself, and something happened that hadn’t happened in the several weeks he’d been trapped here. He’d been so strong and he thought he’d been doing all right, but as it happened, he’d just barely been holding himself back.
He sobbed. Uncontrollably, and pathetically, he sobbed. He couldn’t make himself stop once it started, and the worst part was that he was doing it in front of Dean. He was sobbing like a child in front of the enemy, and then Dean put his hand on Joey’s back.
Joey gasped, an electric current, the same shock of sensation that came every time Dean touched him, sizzling through his body.
And how sick was it that it got him half-hard when he was crying like this? He skittered away from the touch, not liking it. Not liking what it reminded him of.
Dean didn’t try to follow him or touch him again this time, but he still had that pathetic expression on his face. “Please. If you would just stop fighting us, we could let you out of here. You could come back upstairs. Todd and Colten miss you. I miss you.”
Joey remembered Todd and Colten, and he hated them just as much as he hated Dean, as he hated this entire pack.
“I don’t want to see them. Th-they…”
Dean waited, and then he spoke. “What? What did they do? What do you think we did?”
It wasn’t what Joey thought they’d done. It was what he knew they’d done.
They’d abandoned him. Joey had followed them, loved them, and when they came to live here, Joey had been abandoned. They stopped caring the second they’d had their mates and children.
“Th-they left me.”
He couldn’t look at Dean. Just looking at him reminded him of what Dean had done to him.
“Y-you left me. You fucking asshole. You l-left me to rot in that place. You did th-this to me!” Joey hated that he couldn’t get his words to come out without stuttering them. He just wanted to yell at Dean, make him sorry for what he’d done to him, but he could hardly manage it. He was still crying.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said. “What is it you think I did?”
“Think?” Joey flew into a rage as he turned and attacked. He went for Dean’s eyes, but Dean was faster, and he had his hands up to defend himself.
He grabbed on to Joey’s hands. Joey screamed from the pain, and Dean immediately released him, grabbing his wrists instead.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Dean said.
Joey couldn’t stop crying.
“You’re a liar. You’re such a liar. I hate you,” he said. He said it over and over again, even though it didn’t make him feel remotely better to be saying such things while Dean held him. Not only because he hated being touched by this man, but for some strange reason, his body still craved it. Ached and yearned to be touched by Dean and no one else, and the conflicting instincts were driving him insane.
Even without abandoning him to be tortured in that awful place, to be drugged and beaten and starved, Dean had done other awful things to him, and Joey swore, one way or another, he was going to kill Dean. He was going to kill him and be rid of this lust that plagued him for the man he hated more than anything in the entire world.
Dean didn’t have the control he would have liked, but even when it was over, it still wasn’t over. They fell into their human forms when they finished the first round of sex, but Dean’s cock was still in Joey’s ass, he was still hard, still so unbearably horny, and he couldn’t help but move his hips, needing another orgasm.
And Joey didn’t complain. Not if any of those happy sounds were anything to go by. His fingers gripped the leaves tight, as though searching for something to hold onto as he moaned and thrust back against Dean's cock.
Dean pulled them into a sitting position, getting Joey off his hands and knees so he could lean his back against Dean’s chest while he gripped his hips and thrust inside him.
Joey let his head fall back onto Dean's shoulder, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Th-that feels good."
Dean slowed the pace of his thrusts, pushing his cock slowly back and forth into that tight grip, drawing out his mate's pleasure. "Want more?"
Dean gave it to him, kissing and sucking on his shoulders as he pinched and tweaked at his nipples. And Dean soaked up every pleasurable sigh and shiver. He wanted to come, but never in his life had Dean been more focused and intent on giving pleasure to anyone other than Joey.
Joey nearly fell back onto his hands and knees, but Dean caught him, held him firm.
"No, stay like this," he said, biting on the shell of Joey's ear. "Makes it easier to push my cock deeper inside."
Joey moaned and held the position.
The truth was that Dean didn’t like looking at the bullet hole scars that were on Joey's back. He wondered if Joey knew those scars came through in his wolf form. Dean could tell exactly where they were because the fur grew out at different angles.
This was a better position. This was something Dean could get more on board with. His mate in his arms, the smell of their first sex still making him heady, spurring him on, the feel of his tight hole around his cock…
Dean moaned. He savored it. He pressed long kisses to Joey’s throat, right where his bite scar was, the one Dean had given to him when he’d finally claimed the man as his. He licked and sucked on it, feeling each shiver of pleasure that shuddered through Joey’s body.
“Oh! Y-yeah,” Joey gasped, circling his ass over Dean's cock, squeezing his hole tighter around him.
The best words Dean could ever hear.
He growled, reaching around, pinching his mate’s nipples a little harder this time, touching his chest, feeling all the little differences, as well as all the things that were the same.
Despite being stronger, Joey was smaller. His muscles were tighter, however, and Dean was fairly sure that Joey’s cock was a little thicker as well.
He was going to have so much fun with this.
“W-wait, wait, stop,” Joey said, shaking his head.
Joey pulled himself off Dean’s lap, turned, climbed back into it, and then reached behind him. He took Dean’s cock in hand before pressing the head against his pucker, then sitting down onto it.
Joey gritted his teeth and winced, then sighed as he was fully seated.
Dean’s eyes rolled to the back of his head very briefly before he got control.
“Like this. Fuck me like this,” Joey panted, and his warm mouth was on Dean’s.
The kiss was sweet, and Dean’s first act of dominance was to slide his tongue deep into that mouth.
He moaned. So did Joey as he sucked on it.
Dean hadn’t tasted this in months. His eyes actually burned as he thought about it, but he was tasting and kissing Joey when he’d thought he would never do it again, when he’d thought Joey had been dead and gone forever.
Now he was here, and Dean savored the taste of him, savored his touch, didn’t think he could ever let him go.
He would never let him go.
Dean grabbed on to Joey’s hips. It would’ve been a grip tight enough to bruise had Joey still been human, but now that he was a shifter, Dean didn’t have to worry about being so gentle all the time. He could be a little rougher.
Well, he wouldn’t go that far, just in case this was more instinct than love making Joey this needy, but for now, Dean wouldn’t worry himself about breaking the man.
He clearly wasn’t made of glass.
Joey threw his head back and moaned when Dean forced his hips back and forth, making the smaller man ride him, making him take his cock as deep as it would go.
Joey clenched his hole around Dean’s erection. It hurt. He didn’t care. It wasn’t painful enough that he couldn’t handle it, and the pleasure outweighed any pain anyway.
Joey moaned sweetly when Dean stopped thrusting hard and fast into him, instead opting for something of a slow, circular approach.
Their mouths parted. Joey mewled at the sensation. His hand reached down for his cock, but Dean grabbed his wrist, pulling it back.
“That’s mine. You don’t get to touch.”
Joey blinked those big, owlish hazel eyes at him, and then he smiled. “Th-that so?”
Dean nodded, growling. “Yes.”
Joey didn’t try to reach for his dick again, instead he leaned forward, coyly taking Dean’s lower lip into his mouth, suckling on it while Dean pushed back and forth inside him, and when Joey squeezed his hole around Dean’s cock again, Dean was pretty sure the man had done it on purpose.
“You sure about that?” Joey asked, bouncing up and down, making Dean hot, making him wild.