Em turned and pointed at the front door. “You. In the house. Now.”
“Mom, get in the house. Right now. I’ve had enough of your behavior. You’ve been acting like an obnoxious kid all day, and you’ve officially stepped on my very last nerve.”
Her mom stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her.
That was her mom’s latest way of throwing a tantrum, slamming doors.
How sad is it that it doesn’t even make me flinch anymore?
Again the thought that her mom might be starting to show signs of dementia crossed Em’s mind, but trying to get her mom to the doctor was like trying to get a cat to take a bath.
Em took a deep breath and hurried over to where the two guys were standing on the porch and looking at her.
She extended her hand as she walked up. “Hi, I’m so sorry about that. My mom is…my mom. I tried to tell her not to call. Em Woodland. I live next door.”
The men acted guarded, and she couldn’t blame them.
The shorter one shook with her first. “Jarred Ilsen. Bryant Simonson was my uncle.”
“Was?” Horror and embarrassment washed through Em. She honestly hadn’t really known the guy. She had waved to the elderly man a couple of times when she’d first moved in, but hadn’t seen him there in over a year and assumed he’d either died or moved in with relatives or something. A lawn company took care of the yard every couple of weeks.
“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. If I could go crawl under a rock right now, I would.”
“It’s okay. I can see why she was concerned.”
The other guy extended his hand. “Garrison Porter.”
“Hi. Nice to meet you, but sorry about the circumstances. When did he pass?”
“A couple of weeks ago,” Jarred said. “Sorry, we didn’t know your mom knew him, or we would have come and notified her. He never indicated he was close to any of his neighbors.”
“She didn’t know him. She thinks she knows everyone’s business, but she doesn’t. So what happens to the house now?”
Standing this close, she could see Garrison had green eyes. “Jarred inherited it. We’re going to move in. After we clean it out and do some rehabbing first.”
“Oh! That’s cool.” She immediately felt like an idiot. “I mean, not that he died, but—”
“It’s okay.” Garrison had a nice smile, too. “Sorry our first meeting was a little rocky.”
“Hey, the apologies are all on me.” She turned and spotted the blinds in the living room parted, her mom staring through them. Em jabbed a finger at her, and the blinds fell shut again.
Jarred let out a laugh. “So…no offense, but what’s up with that?”
“Sorry, really long story. My mom gets very…needy. I work from home a lot, unfortunately. When she thinks I’m not paying enough attention to her, she sort of goes…batshit. Usually she’s hounding my dad. But my dad’s out volunteering today, and that means she’s hyper-focused on me. Lucky me.”
“Ah,” the men said. “Sorry,” Jarred offered.
“I love them. They’re my parents. But I kind of got cornered by my siblings into them moving in with me—and oh, my god, I’m so sorry. The last thing you need to hear is my issues.”
“It’s okay,” Garrison assured her. “I take it she won’t call the cops on us again?”
“I’m thinking about taking the home line out. She refuses to use a cell phone. Might make life easier.”
That made both men laugh, an easy sound that told her, hopefully, she wasn’t going to be painted with the same brush as her mom’s actions.
“Look,” she offered, “if you need any help, feel free to ask. I work at an estate sale company. If you need anything appraised, please, it’d be my pleasure to help. For free,” she quickly added. “To make up for this aggravation.”
“No worries,” Jarred said. “Glad to know there’s a neighborhood busybody who will keep an eye on things for us when we’re not home.”
“Well, yeah, I wouldn’t classify her like that,” Em said. “More like she keeps track of what interests her.”
“So what does your husband think about her spying on the neighbors?” Garrison teased.
“If I had one, or even a boyfriend, I guess I probably wouldn’t have my parents living with me now.” She shoved her hair back away from her face. “Sorry. Again. I swear I’m not a mom-hating monster. I think my dad volunteers a couple of days a week to get away from her. When he’s not home…” She really wished she had that rock to climb under.
“Well, if you ever need to escape, feel free to come over,” Jarred said. His brown eyes looked soft, cute, inviting. “The door’s always open.”
“Thanks. You might regret that invite.” She realized her mom was still spying on them through the blinds, and Em fought the urge to flip her a bird. “Well, I’ll get out of your way. Again, I’m really sorry.”
Garrison laughed. “It’s okay, honestly. No worries.”
“Oh, hey.” He pulled out his cell phone. “Let me give you our numbers, if you don’t mind. It’ll be a little while before we’re living here. Tell your mom she’s free to call us if she sees anything suspicious.”
“Okay, sure.” Em pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket, and two minutes later had the phone numbers for two hunky guys she was almost certain were romantic partners, meaning zero chance for a hookup with either of them.
Not that a romantic hookup would be in her future as long as her parents were living with her. The last three guys she’d dated had all been scared off by her mom.
Maybe not directly, but by her mom’s incessant interference, rudeness to them when they came over, and other acts of general asshattery. Like hell she’d give her mom Jarred’s and Garrison’s numbers. That’d be the fastest way for her mom to scare them off.
I’m PMSing. That’s why I’m acting like such a bitch today.
Well, it was as good an excuse as any.
She headed back home to face her mother’s inevitable wrath.
She turned her head enough so she could look at him. “Someone said something about being able to take care of sexy time without having to actually have sex. That. Whatever you had in mind bythat, that’s what I want.”
“Okay.” He smiled. “Kind of helps if you roll over, though.”
She did. Then she felt Garrison suck her left big toe into his mouth and swirl his tongue around it and she thought her eyes would roll back in her head.
That was an erogenous zone?
Who fucking knew?
A moan escaped her. Jarred smiled down at her as one hand started lightly drawing a trail from the base of her throat, down her chest, and around her left breast. Then around her right, back and forth in ever smaller infinity swirls, drawing closer to her nipples.
Speaking of those babies, they’d tightly peaked, aching, anticipating, practically standing up and begging for one or both men to use those talented tongues there, on them.
Garrison was licking and sucking on her other toes. She couldn’t pull her gaze away from Jarred’s brown eyes, though. In the flicker of the fake candlelight, which actually did look fairly realistic, she spotted passion and desire that melted her insides and made her clit throb even more than it had during their kiss that morning.
Garrison kissed his way up her legs, skipping over her pussy, where she’d helpfully spread her thighs to give them better access, and traced kisses up her stomach until he was on her other side.
As one, the men lowered their mouths to her breasts and started flicking their tongues against her nipples, sucking, teasing.
Her eyes fell closed. Probably a good thing, because they also rolled so far and hard back in her head they might have sailed right out of her dang skull. Nothing had felt this good in…well, ever.
Two hands skimmed down her tummy, one set of fingers lighting tracing her clit, the other gently probing the entrance to her pussy.
Oh, thank Christ I shaved down there!
One finger, then a second, slowly pumped into her slick passage. Her hands grabbed their heads, almost afraid they’d move and leave and stop what they were doing.
The harder she held on, the more satisfied the moans she earned from each of them, so she fisted handfuls of hair and held on for dear life like a dizzy drunk on a mechanical bull.
The fingers on her clit seemed to need a few minutes to get the lay of the land, feel her out. But once whichever owner deciphered the increasingly slippery topography down there, he got his game going and started moving his digits back and forth, up and down, quickly working her close to an orgasm.
While she felt hard cocks brushing against her on either side, neither man had made a move to have her take things in hand. Frankly, she was afraid to let go of their hair. She needed something solid to hold on to for fear of flying off the bed and launching into orbit.
When the first orgasm slammed into her, her back arched and she had to stifle her cry of pleasure lest she end up earning them a 911 call from the neighbors. It felt sooo fucking good, three fingers driving hard and fast into her pussy while the man working her clit had steered her right into the orgasm zone. Just when it was getting too intense, too strong, they backed off and she slipped down the slope, still there, close, catching her breath.
And she realized they weren’t done.
Not by a long shot.
It was somewhere around the fourth climax she finally lost count and nearly lost consciousness. When the men’s hands stilled, and they released her breasts and looked up at her, she finally peeled open her eyes to see what was going on.
They wore beaming, glorious smiles. They looked like they’d just won the damn Super Bowl.
“Wow,” she whispered.
Garrison arched an eyebrow at her. “Good?”
She nodded. Only then she realized she still had tight grips on their heads. She let go, stroking their hair, playing with it. Garrison’s had a slightly coarser feel, his short, wavy hair almost curly. Probably would be curly if he let it get longer. Jarred’s was short and straight, but super soft.
“Come here,” she said, coaxing them a little farther up. She wanted them snuggled there against her, their heads tucked in the crooks of her arm. She kissed Garrison, then Jarred, while stroking their heads. “That…was…fantastic. But what about you?”
“What about us?” they parroted.
She giggled. “Yeeeaah. I feel those things poking against me. I want to take care of you guys.”
“That’s your call,” Garrison said.
“Up on the bed,” she said. “Lay next to each other.”
They did. She sat up on her knees between them with their legs on either side of her. Then she reached down and took their cocks in hand, slowly stroking them, pumping their shafts, slicking their juices over them.
Both men moaned, nearly identical.
Damn, that’s cute!
“I want you two to make out while I do this. I want to watch you kissing.”
The men did, quickly getting into it, losing themselves in what they were feeling. It was hot. Really damn hot. So hot that she almost forgot what she was doing.