4 STARS: " 'Hooked on a feeling…high on believing…you're in love with me.' This is what Ms. Dalton should sing about me. I am a devoted fan and her Suncoast Society Series works for me. I love them and I can't get enough of it. In CRAFTY BASTARDS, I'm over the moon as Ms. Dalton features two kinky men who make BDSM furniture. The fact that these two men are also bisexual looking for a third in their triad only makes this story better. Max and Sean are first roommates and then lovers with a past. They went through hellfire together and survived an abusive dominant. Shy to add in another female to their partnership, they have been cruising along and just enjoying life without drama. Why do I enjoy these BDSM stories so much? It's because of the humour, kink and characters. This series is as close as I can see to real life contemporary BDSM living. Sure, Ms. Dalton smooths out the rougher edges of kink, but she leaves in the real life messiness. In this story, it is about Cali Charleston's ex-lover who takes advantage of her skills and then leaves her destitute and homeless. I feel outrage at the situation because it is all too believable. These are common people with relatable issues. The BDSM in this story between Max, Sean and Cali is fabulous. It's just right and maybe one step kinkier than a Gateway to BDSM book. Still, the BDSM is light to medium. As expected, these scenes are accurate to real life and whilst I wouldn't use them for BDSM 101 Guide on how to get kinky with my partner, it's still detailed enough to do without getting into too much trouble. The only caveat is when trying out rope bondage. There is a little bit more to rope bondage which lifestylers will know and newbies may end up with problems. This story focuses on building trust and when trust is broken. For those looking to have a healthy D/s relationship, this is crucial for it to all work. The forward step and then two backwards step in this threesome relationship shows how easily trust can be violated. Yet it's not over. Trust can be earned back and the relationship can become even stronger. The reactions of the characters in here are understandable and at times, moving. What really gets me in this story is the humour. To be clear, there are no animals abused in this story. There are no animals violated either. This little plot device of Cali's kitty used to sell the BDSM furniture is a stroke of genius. I love it! The scene when Cali's kitty is first discovered as a model made me chuckle out loud. This BDSM erotic romance is highly recommended to ménage lovers who have a quirky sense of humour." -- Book Addict, The Romance ReviewsRainbow Book Reviews
Cali practically groaned with relief when she pulled into the driveway. Today had been murder on her. Two people had called in sick. As tired and as sore as she still was from their latest Saturday night scene and free-for-all fuck fest with the guys, the last thing she’d needed was a twelve-hour work day in the kennels on top of it.
I want a hot bath and a foot rub.
She let herself in and dropped her lunch stuff in the kitchen to take care of later. She walked past the office, stopped, and backtracked.
The men stood, frozen. It looked like they’d been taking pictures of something, because the lights and backdrop were set up in the corner.
Then she spotted Baxter.
He was rolling around on the floor, obviously in a catnip daze.
That was not what caught her attention.
It was the neon-pink paracord shibari rope harness tied around his torso that caught her attention.
“Guys? What did you do to my cat?”
“Baxter became a model,” Max said.
“A bondage model,” Sean said. “We took his picture and posted it. You should see how many—”
“Why is my cat wearing a rope harness?”
The men exchanged a glance. “Um, because he’s kinky?” Sean offered.
Baxter curled around the other way, reaching a paw up to drunkenly swat at her with a sultry maow.
She blinked, staring at them.
Sean pointed at Max. “It was his idea.”
“Bullshit! You tossed me the paracord—”
“Guys! Why is my cat wearing a rope harness?”
“We were trying to boost our website hits,” Sean said. “We were just screwing around and took his picture and posted it and…well, it exploded. It went viral almost immediately.”
She took a deep breath. “It is not okay to use my cat as a rope bunny.”
The men looked at each other, near identical smiles slowly filling their faces.
“No,” Cali yelled. “We are not adopting a bunny just so you can do kinky macramé on it and post pictures!”
“Why not?” they asked.
Sean snapped his fingers. “Hey, Abbey’s got that pet tortoise! I heard Gilo say he ordered costumes for it from Etsy. I bet—”
“No! Do you not understand this is wrong?”
“It’s not wrong,” they said.
“Not like we’re hurting him,” Max added.
“Baxter seemed to enjoy himself,” Sean said.
She walked over to the desk and picked up the almost-empty catnip container. She shook it at them. “This was new last week. Any other time I’ve bought one of these for him, it lasts six months or longer.”
The men exchanged a guilty glance.
“Not our fault your cat has a nip problem,” Max muttered.
“Like they say,” Sean added. “Talk to your cat about the nip before some other cat does.”
She stormed over to them, brandishing the nip container at them. “You got my cat high and tied him up.”
“Nooo,” Max said, holding a finger up. “Technically we tied him, but we didn’t tie him up.”
“That would connote,” Sean added, “that’d we’d restrained him. We didn’t restrain him. Look at him for yourself. Is he restrained? No.”
She stared at them, slowly shaking her head. “Unbelievable.”
Max pointed at his laptop. “Look at the page hits. It’s gone viral. We had over four thousand likes and three thousand shares on Facebook. We’ve never had ten percent of those stats.”
“And it was retweeted over a thousand times on Twitter,” Sean added. “Web hits shot through the roof. We got a bunch of orders.”
“We could do a whole series of pics with him,” Max said.
“I’ve already started working up ideas to make a leather gimp suit for him,” Sean said.
Max shot him a glare. “You could have waited to tell her that.”
“My cat did not give consent for this.”
“He didn’t fight us,” Sean said. “That’s consent.”
“You doped him with catnip!”
“He liked the attention,” Max said. “You said you wanted me to get to know him better. Look at him. Does he look like he’s pissed off?”
Baxter rolled around again, swatting at something in the air. “Maow.”
If he could speak English, she suspected Baxter would be describing the pink elephants now walking through his field of vision.
“No,” she said, “he looks like he’s stoned out of his damn gourd. What the hell is wrong with you two?”
“So what I’m hearing you say,” Sean said, “is that we can’t tie your cat up.”
“No,” Max said, “We obviously can, because we did. I think she’s saying we shouldn’t.”
She gave them both stink-eye. “Unbelievable. Seriously fucking unbelievable. You two are grown damn men. Act like it.”
“What fun is that?” Sean asked.
“Hey, people dress their pets up in costumes all the time,” Max said. “You don’t go complaining about that. Doesn’t the shelter have a pet costume contest every year at Halloween?”
“Not like we suspended him or something,” Sean said. “Just a rope harness. Think of it as a costume.”
“My cat is not kinky!”
“Uh, we have pictures that say otherwise,” Max said.
“People think it’s hysterical,” Sean said. “We could do YouTube videos of it.”
“Okay. I really can’t believe I actually have to say this, but no, you are not making YouTube videos of you tying up my cat, no you are not taking more shibari pictures of my cat, and untie my damn cat!”
“Geez, someone’s grouchy,” Sean said as he reached for Baxter.
The cat meowed at him, hooking a paw around his hand and pulling it close to lick him.
She stared at Baxter. “If he’s hungover and pissed off tomorrow, you two are dealing with him.” She stormed out of the office toward the bedroom. “And you’re not putting him in a gimp suit, either,” she called back.
Sean nibbled along the nape of her neck, over the collar of Cali’s robe, sending pleasant shivers down her spine to her clit. “Screw that,” he said. “I plan on spending the next six months seducing you any chance I get.”
If he kept that up, it wouldn’t take him six months.
“I like the no-rushing plan,” she said. “You’ve got me for six months. And it’s only been a little over six months for me since…you know. Give me time to get into the groove.”
“We’ll give you all the time you want and need,” Max assured her.
“And I’ll warn you now, I’m not very submissive.”
“Here’s my shocked face,” Max said, arching an eyebrow at her.
“We don’t have any defined roles,” Sean told her. “We’re sadomasochistic switches who like to pitch and catch. So if you ever feel toppy, just say so.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time we let a woman top us together.”
Another thought crossed her mind. “How did you two guys get together?”
She felt an uncomfortable distance settle over both of them. “Long story,” Sean said. “Not tonight. Please?”
“Old news anyway,” Max said. “Would you rather talk?” He untied the belt on her robe and let it fall open. Reaching up, he cupped her breasts in his hands, running the pads of his thumbs over her nipples. “Or would you rather let us make you forget what’s-his-name with a little Californication?”
Sean snorted. “Oh no, you didn’t.”
She rested her hands on his shoulders. “Door number two, please.”
Max leaned in, the warm heat of his mouth around her left nipple pulling fires straight to her clit. He rolled her right nipple between his thumb and finger.
Sean pulled her robe down off her shoulders, his hands traveling around her and finding her clit. Nibbling on her neck, he whispered, “We want to make you scream like you were earlier, only with our cocks buried inside you.”
Now she needed to keep her hands on Max’s shoulders to keep from falling over. This felt…so…good.
“Just think,” Sean continued, “two cocks inside you, whenever you want them, ready for you. Or if you’re not in the mood, we can give you a show.”
The thought of watching the two men together was oh, so fucking hot.
Right now, she wanted to taste their cocks. She gently pushed Max back and down onto the bed, kneeling between his legs and pushing his thighs apart. The men had stayed naked throughout dinner, and now their cocks were at attention and ready to play.
Max propped himself up on his elbows and watched as she went down on him, a delicious smile on his face as she kept eye contact with him.
Sean knelt behind her, playing with her clit with one hand while reaching under her from behind with the other and finger-fucking her pussy. “Swirl your tongue around the head, baby,” he said. “He loves that.”
She did, drawing a sharp hiss of pleasure from Max.
“Fuck this, I need to be inside you,” Sean said, getting up.
She pulled her head off Max’s cock. “Where are you going?”
“We don’t need them.”
He stopped and turned. “You sure?”
“I’m on the pill. And if in six months I end up with something, I’ll castrate both of you. So as long as you’re being honest with me, we’re good.”
Sean looked to Max for confirmation.
He nodded, reaching for her head. “Fuck her brains out.”
She went back to sucking on him while Sean knelt behind her, nudging her legs wider apart. He fisted his cock, swiping the head through her pussy lips, sinking home as she deep-throated Max and moaned around his cock.
Sean held still, his hands on her hips. “Oh, fuck, baby. You know how long it’s been since I’ve had sweet, delicious pussy?” He nibbled on her earlobe. “You might be walking funny for a few days after tonight. I haven’t been this hard and horny in a while.”
While she worked her mouth and tongue over Max’s cock, Sean slowly fucked her, leaning in at one point to take Max’s cock from her and give it a lick, too.
That nearly made her come, it was so sexy.
Max grabbed a fistful of her hair. “Up on the bed,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Get on top of me.”
“I’m fucking her,” Sean whined.
“Yeah, and you can keep fucking her. I want to eat her out.”
“Oh. Smart.” He grabbed her, hauling her to her feet and onto the bed without dislodging his cock in the process.
Max got turned around under her, his cock sliding back into her mouth as his lips and tongue homed in on her clit.
She was glad she had Max’s cock in her mouth to muffle the moans, because it felt that. Fucking. Good. Shane had used oral as foreplay, a fast way to get her off so he could get busy.
He savored her like a starving man. She suspected from Sean’s assorted grunts and groans that his balls and cock were getting a good tonguing at the same time, too.
This was better than any fantasy she could have dreamed of.
“Give us at least one, baby,” Sean begged. “We want to make you feel good.”